From a hopeful mistletoe romantic to a dude with an axe or a video-game loving elf, enjoy these holiday/Christmas monologues for men!

From a woman with a crush on Santa to an overstressed Hallmark romcom watcher to an influencer rejected by a snowman, check out these fun, unique and memorable holiday and Christmas monologues for women!

Check out this list of Christmas-themed theater great for middle-school performers. These plays and monologues are funny, endearing, engaging, while being challenging but manageable for this age group. Whether you’re looking for a Christmas play with a large cast, or a short holiday play for 1-3 actors, these festive pieces of theater are family-friendly, age-appropriate and fun to perform!

Yes, it’s 90 degrees where I am, but I also know theaters are planning holiday shows already! So check out my list of memorable and unique One-Act Christmas Plays, all of which are straight plays—no musicals. The plays range from children’s theater with a 16+ ensemble cast in a Grinching 101 class to an existential 2-person play about Christmas Trees for teens and adults. Enjoy!

Happy Christmas in July! Enjoy browsing Christmas monologues during this intense heat, and if you’re considering producing a short but sophisticated Christmas play for 2 strong actors, with a bit of humor, and a bit of drama, check out my new play, TWO CHRISTMAS TREES ON THEIR WAY TO THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA. While yes, the 2 characters are talking Christmas Trees, this isn’t exactly a children’s play. It’s touching and charming and has funny moments; but it’s also about our short time on Earth, what we leave behind, what we choose to do with time we have, and whom we choose to spend those precious years—or minutes—with (think the musicians playing as the Titanic goes down…). All told through the voices of two Douglas Firs. So what exactly is this play o’ trees about?

So here’s a new comedic Christmas monologue for men that, when I read it to my husband, made him laugh out loud at the final line. Not an easy feat for that audience! WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN, is a short and, well…not-exactly-sweet, but still pretty-fun, Christmas monologue to perform. In the monologue, Robert is at a Christmas Tree Farm and explains to his friend the right way to chop down a Christmas Tree (they don’t call it “chopping down a tree” for nothing, right?).

WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN is a comedic Christmas monologue for men and runs about 1 minute. While it’s written for a male actor, as with most of my work, if you resonate with it, it’s suitable for any gender.

Okay. I promise - at least ONE PERSON out there is going to feel heard in my new comedic Christmas monologue, HALLMARK CHRISTMAS ROMCOMS ARE STRESSING ME OUT. We have tons of things to do each holiday season, right? And these light-hearted romcoms are supposed to make us feel warm, cozy, carefree and jingle-bell happy, right? But what if we just. can’t. keep. up?

That’s what is going on with Scarlett! She has made a pact with her best friend, Maia, that they will watch all the Hallmark Christmas romcoms of the season and dish about them all! Sounds easy, right? It’s not to Scarlett! Especially when Hallmark pulls the ole “let’s do double features for Thanksgiving weekend!” Now she’s hopelessly behind and it’s time she come clean to Maia. Hopefully Maia can expend a bit of holiday grace and let it slide. Or maybe she’ll be like my real-life friend who is 10 movies ahead of me but thankfully gave me the rundown of the best ones, so I can skip to those and pretend I’m not failing Hallmark Christmas Romcom season. ;)

HALLMARK CHRISTMAS ROMCOMS ARE STRESSING ME OUT runs about 1-1.5 minutes.

Okay, if you had fun playing Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings and you want to play another Christmas Elf with a ridiculous Christmas-Elf name, you’re in luck! Check out Fluffy McWaffles Tart’s monologue here, JINGLE BELL HATER, from my new one-act Christmas comedy, Grinching 101. In this monologue, Fluffy McWaffles Tart explains his reasoning for signing up for the Grinching 101 seminar: It has to do with those “saccharine-stevia-monk-fruit-sugar-free” jingle bells! And brownies. And eggnog. It all comes back to eggnog…

This monologue runs about 1.5 minutes, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:

So the issue of “do you dress up your cat” is a hot button topic for pet-people! Personally, my cat “dresses up” once a year in a burrito cape for about 30 seconds so I can snap a Halloween photo of her, and then, I take it off and we’re done. Not that she seems to care if the cape is on or off, to be honest! Well, in this new Christmas monologue, Violet definitely has strong opinions about her kitty wearing something.

When Violet arrives home from work, she’s horrified to see her dignified cat, Luna, dressed up in a holiday “ugly sweater” and matching Christmas-light tiara. As she tries to figure out who might have done this cheesy costuming to her precious kitty, and why (hint: Her boyfriend, Fred, is none too pleased Violet refuses to wear matching snowman sweaters, even though he knows she’s not sarcastic enough to pull it off!), she tries to take off the cat’s sweater. But Luna doesn’t seem to want to take it off… In fact, Luna seems to be liking it. Licking it. Even purring at it. Can Violet accept it if her couture kitty is now preferring Ugly Sweaters?

Okay, who wants to play a character named Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings? Here’s your chance with this new Christmas monologue, Forbidden in the Elf Manual, from my play, GRINCHING 101. In the play, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings (let’s keep saying the whole name over and over!) is enrolled in a Grinching class for beginners and is pretty much failing every lesson.

In the monologue, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings reveals to fellow classmates and grinching professors the reason he signed up for this class. (Hint: It’s all about the videogames.)

This monologue runs about 1 minute, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:

It’s December 1st, friends! That means I can whip out our family’s 2022 Advent Calendars! Which would you choose? 1) Funko Marvel 2) Chocolates in a penguin 3) Cocktail truffles? Hm… Mind you, young folks, my advent calendar as a kid consisted of opening a door on Santa’s sleigh and the reward was viewing a drawing of a toy! And I had to rotate every third day, sharing with my 2 brothers. Ah, but since we didn’t know what chocolates we were missing, that paper sleigh was still so sweet.

December 1 also means that I can post sans judgment about all the fun Christmas and Holiday theater you’ve been emailing me about and downloading since August! And personally, I’m fine thinking Christmas in August—because holiday theater takes some prep. Auditions for Christmas plays started months ago, and seasonal rehearsals don’t rehearse themselves a week before they open, right?

So…you’ve fallen in love with the Mall Santa. I mean, what’s not to love, right? (Well…) But what if you’ve never seen him sans-white beard and velvet coat? Can you be sure you’ve fallen for the real man behind the suit? Will you still be happy to share hot cocoa with him when he doesn’t smell like candy canes?

This is the situation Brandy, and her new Mall-Santa-Boyfriend, Kris, find themselves in. Kris is scared Brandy won’t love him when he doesn’t hold Holiday Celebrity Status anymore. He’s been dumped by women post-Christmas before. In the monologue, More Than Santa, Brandy has to convince Kris that she is not only attracted to his white beard (because, come on—that beard!), but she will keep on being attracted to him when she sees him for the first time tomorrow, December 26, not dressed as Santa.

If you’re a woman looking for a short comedic Christmas monologue, check out Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed. In the monologue, it’s Christmas Night. Daphne and her partner, Jamie, have enjoyed a large Christmas dinner with family. Daphne has lovingly spent many hours preparing the meal she knows Jamie will enjoy, on the Christmas China she knows Jamie loves. But now it’s time for Daphne to feel a little love… and it just might take the shape of someone else (ahem: Jamie) hand-washing all those Christmas plates…

This is a comedic monologue which runs around 1.5 minutes, and is appropriate for a female actor in her 20s-50s. Check out below to read and excerpt and to download the free monologue of Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed.

If you’re looking for a large cast Christmas play for young actors or young audiences, with lots of gender inclusive/neutral roles, check out Chaos in a Christmas Snow Globe. Yup, it takes place inside a Christmas Snow Globe, complete with Christmas Tree, train and ice skating pond. Designers can be as detailed or as representative as desired for this world which leaves lots of room for creativity.

The Christmas Gang loves their place of honor in 8-year-old Stella’s bedroom, come the Sunday after Thanksgiving when all the Christmas decorations are displayed, but they’re also getting a bit bored of the same routine. Luckily, they’re in a Snow Globe with Santa himself who has a pretty cool ability to evoke, oh, I don’t know…a little something called… Christmas Magic! CLICK FOR MORE

Have you ever wanted to spice up a traditional Christmas Caroling outing? Santa hats are fine and all, but how much cooler would you look if you wore…say…an astronaut costume? That is Sam’s small request in this 2-minute comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. But before he can sing into that awesome voice-changing space helmet, he has to convince his mom of his plan… Does he make a compelling enough case to win her over?

Check out my free comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. This monologue comes from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Beleving in Blitzen (check out that play here. It has a lot of other comedic monologues). The character role is a child, so this monologue is great for children actors, or tween through young adults who would like to play children (good audition material for children’s plays). This role is gender inclusive/flexible.

Who doesn’t love some good ole fashioned Christmas magic in their theater and film, right? Check out what happens in my new 5-minute monologue for a female actor (with the option of adding 2 additional gender-inclusive silent roles), Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me.

When Madison goes for a walk with her dog on Christmas Eve, she could never have imagined a snowman she passes by would come to life in front of her very eyes! I mean, talk about Christmas Magic, right? This is super cool. Her IG fans are going to die when they see this… But… Why does it seem the snowman doesn’t want to pose with her? Coming to life is strange. Sure. But not wanting to hang out with Madison is even stranger. Find out how this IG model and her adorbs rescue, Bailey, make sense of all of this, in Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me. CLICK FOR MORE

Today on an afternoon walk, I spied a silver bell and garland on a friend’s railing, while another friend mentioned she saw a Hallmark Christmas rom-com last night. I’ve been receiving royalty requests for a Christmas play for a few months now, so I think we are all justified to be looking to holiday theater on November 2, right? In the spirit of the holiday season to come, enjoy a new comedic monologue, Santa Just Wants You to be Healthy:

It’s Christmas morning and Vita’s child, Cameron, has just come to her bedroom at 5am to complain that Santa gave him a boring orange in his stocking. Vita tries to make Cameron understand that Santa simply cares about him and is looking out for his good health and happiness. Knowing the orange is a bit less than exciting though, Vita encourages Cameron to dig down deep to find another treat—most likely something spectacular. But what her child finds is (d’oh!) not exactly what Vita had in mind!

This is a monologue for a female actor (could also be male), 20s-40s and runs about 1.5 minutes long. Check out an excerpt below:

My son recently gave me a writing prompt which has resulted in this wintery children’s monologue, Snowman Versus Sun. I also have to give him credit as he designed the monologue cover himself (his at-home-digital-design class with Mom: Canva!)

As the title indicates, the monologue is about that age-old problem: snowman v. sun. In this 1-minute free comedic monologue great for young kids, Titus takes on the sun directly himself. Do you think the sun will listen to him? He’s got a pretty big request…

Check out these twenty (20)+ Christmas monologues below, plus a packet of additional Christmas monologues for children, extracted from my one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. These monologues range in length from 30 seconds to 5 minutes, great for video/zoom or in person, comedic or dramatic, kids, male, female. Enjoy, be well, and enjoy the extended holiday season! (*This list is always being updated, so check back for new additions!)

It’s Christmas morning and Sam has a problem. He is outraged that Santa has, yet again, given him oranges in his stocking, despite his previous complaints that he doesn’t like them. Since Santa has not heeded his requests, Sam devises a simple plan that will teach Santa a lesson.

Christmas Kale is a one-minute comedic children’s monologue, for an inclusive cast (not gender specific). It’s suitable for children or pre-teens.

Christmas Kale is from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

Have you ever dreamed of being that special person chosen to hear the voice of an animal? Or better yet, to be chosen to be the friend of a very special animal? Say…a special animal who knows someone pretty famous, especially come December 24? Annie gets to experience just that in the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Santa’s reindeer, Blitzen, chooses to befriend her, and he supports her during Christmas crafts, her role in the local pageant, and even through a single-parent household. This is one cool reindeer! So enjoy this 30-second monologue, Meeting Blitzen, when Annie tells her friends that she’s seen a talking reindeer for the first time. The monologue is designed for children, but really could apply to anyone of any age who might dream of being seen by someone special—as someone special.

If you don’t know what grinching is yet, perhaps this monologue by guest playwright, 6-year-old, Luke B., will shed some insight. In it, Max is caught red-handed taking his mom’s lamp into his room. He has a perfectly good reason for doing this, but it may not be what you think… Check out this 1-minute comedic children’s monologue, Grinching Mom. And keep reading if you want to find out a bit more about the 6-year-old boy who wrote it…

Check out my Christmas theater below (one-act plays, a 5-minute monologues, and monologues for kids to adults)! Click on the links to read excerpts from all of the holiday monologues or holiday plays or to get the full versions. Enjoy the holiday season!

If you’re looking for a monologue for a male actor desperately trying to cling to an old romance, hopefully anxious, nervously excited (so much fun to act!), then check out my new monologue, Still Standing Under the Mistletoe. Larry is at a Christmas party and speaks to his ex-girlfriend Mindy. She is standing under the mistletoe and he nervously confesses he still has feelings for her. He hopes that she still has feelings for him too, and that if she notices she is standing under the mistletoe, she will not move away from it…

This is a comedic monologue for a male actor (teen through adult) and is approximately 1.5-2 minutes along,

Enjoy a new monologue packet, featuring 19 comedic monologues for children extracted from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Monologues range from 30 seconds to 3 minutes, and average approximately 1-2 minutes long. Check out two free sample monologues from this packet, Santa’s Lousy Job and Shepherd Superheroes. About the play: Take a snowy walk through the child-like magic of Christmas, where reindeer talk, Santa is real, and who wants super powers?…

If you're looking for a short solo performance piece, check out this one below. It's a comedy (drama) which runs about 5 minutes, and showcases just what kinds of issues "Secret Santa" can bring up... Enjoy!...