JINGLE BELL HATER
A Chrismtas Comedy monologue
by Tara Meddaugh
About the play, GRINCHING 101:
Grinch professors, Sourpuss Fuddy Duddy and Killjoy Cactus Snarl, are pleased to find their Grinching 101 classroom filled with eager elf-students desiring to learn the art of becoming a grinch. However, the class of bright-eyed cheerful students are blatantly failing. Every. Single. Lesson. Are the elves really that dull? Are they actually trying? Or is there some other reason they’re all in this class…? And is there anything, like, anything at all, that maybe…just maybe… the grinches can learn from the sugar-loving, compliment-spewing elves? Click here for the complete play, GRINCHING 101.
About the monologue, Jingle Bell Hater:
The Grinching 101 professors have expressed frustration in their inept class of elves and wonder why they are even enrolled in the course. Fluffy McWaffles Tart explains his reasoning for signing up for Grinching 101: It has to do with those “saccharine-stevia-monk-fruit-sugar-free” jingle bells! And brownies. And eggnog. It all comes back to eggnog…
DETAILS:
Genre: Comedic, children, Teen, Christmas, Theater for Young Audiences
Running time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
Cast: Male (or any gender)
Age range: child, teen or adult for TYA
Setting: A Grinching 101 Classroom at the North Pole
Time period: contemporary
Read an excerpt below or get the whole monologue here.
EXCERPT below:
FLUFFY MCWAFFLES TART
The reason I’m here is… well… I was getting really sick of hearing the jingle bells go off every time I moved—like, every single time. You know? I take one step. I jingle. I lift a mug of hot cocoa to my lips and I jingle. I sneeze. I jingle. It’s like a signal to everyone around that I’m doing something. Anything. Does that sound bother anyone else? Well, I hate it.
(ELVES gasp)
And the last straw was this morning. I came out to the kitchen before anyone else woke up. I started to have some brownies and eggnog, but my mom comes in and sees I’m not eating breakfast food and scolds me! She says, “You’re going to spoil your appetite! You had better still eat all the candy canes I made for breakfast!”
(pause)
And the thing is—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue, JINGLE BELL HATER.
For the complete play, GRINCHING 101, from which this monologue comes, click below: