New Rom-Com Monologue: Head to Toe
Sydney is on a first date. A blind date. And a zoom date during the covid-19 lockdown. Needless to say, she’s nervous—but she’s also excited to possibly form a new human connection. And during this date…her cat pees on the floor. Is her cat seeking attention, since he’s been the only one to get her affection for 8 weeks? And will her date wait for her while she cleans up the mess?
I wrote this monologue a couple of years ago, but for some reason, held onto it in the “laptop cave files” until today. Do any single folk remember what it was like to be isolated in a living quarters with literally no one else, except maybe a pet? Thank God for pets, right? Humans need affection, they need interaction, they need comfort and cuddles and touch. And while I ask “does anyone remember”—honestly, three years (or less) really isn’t that long ago…
This idea is forefront in my monologue, Head to Toe, although it’s sandwiched by a jealous cat who might be peeing to ruin Sydney’s blind date! Sydney is a fun role for an actor to play, or director to direct, as she has a lot of action (especially for someone on Zoom), coupled with humor, first-date nerves and excitement, as well as the poignancy of striving for connection amidst isolation.
Head to Toe is a 2-3 minute comedic/dramatic rom-com monologue, although if fully staged, it might end up longer than that. It’s written so that it can be performed on the Zoom platform itself or on stage. It’s great for older teens through adults, and while written for a female, it can be played by any gender if the actor resonates with the piece.
Check out an excerpt below, or get the whole monologue here.
SYDNEY
(speaking to her blind date on zoom)
Do you mind if I put on my weighted blanket? I know it’s not—it’s not a typical date thing to do, but, I’ve never had a zoom date before and nothing is really typical right now so…I hope you don’t mind?
(wraps her blanket around her shoulders)
It makes me feel… I don’t know, cozy? It was the first thing I bought when we went into this quarantine. I had $200 in my bank account, but I was like, if I’m gonna be alone with no one but my cat, I am getting a weighted blanket.
(pause)
You look really nice—I like that you’re wearing a suit. It’s cute you got dressed up. I really—
(hears her cat peeing on the floor behind her)
Oh—
(to her cat, behind her)
No, you did not! Barney! Barney, no! You did NOT just pee on my—Barney—get back here!
(back to the zoom)
I’m sorry—I’m—Look—I— Can you hold on a minute? You don’t have to go—don’t go. Not yet—I mean, I just have to—I have to clean this up, but you can stay on. Stay on…Please…Don’t go.
(looks at screen and smiles, relieved he will not go)
Okay, I’m just gonna get a wipe. One sec.
(off screen)
Barney can be a pain but…he’s the only living thing I’ve touched in 8 weeks—END OF EXCERPT. Click below to download the entire monologue, HEAD TO TOE.