HEAD TO TOE
A comedic/dramatic monologue
By
Tara Meddaugh
Sydney is on a first date. A blind date. And a zoom date during the covid-19 lockdown. Needless to say, she’s nervous—but also excited to possibly form a new human connection. And during this date…her cat pees on the floor. Is her cat seeking attention, since he’s been the only one to get her affection for 8 weeks? And will her date wait for her while she cleans up the mess?
DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Drama, rom-com
Running time: Approximately 2-3 minutes
Cast: Female (Male/any gender)
Age range: Teen-adult
Setting: kitchen/zoom
Time period: Spring 2020
Tags: Zoom play, romcom, romantic comedy, cat, kitten, pet, blind date, love, hope, nervous, pandemic, loneliness, covid-19
EXCERPT
AT RISE: Spring 2020, during the global pandemic stay-at-home measures. Sydney is on first date, via Zoom. She is in her kitchen (which we can see in the background). She has a cat, which may be on her lap to start or behind her (we never need to see the cat). She has a healthy amount of first-date excitement and nerves. She has a blanket on her lap. She speaks to her date.
SYDNEY
Do you mind if I put on my weighted blanket? I know it’s not—it’s not a typical date thing to do, but, I’ve never had a zoom date before and nothing is really typical right now so…I hope you don’t mind?
(wraps her blanket around her shoulders)
It makes me feel… I don’t know, cozy? It was the first thing I bought when we went into this quarantine. I had $200 in my bank account, but I was like, if I’m gonna be alone with no one but my cat, I am getting a weighted blanket.
(pause)
You look really nice—I like that you’re wearing a suit. It’s cute you got dressed up. I really—
(hears her cat peeing on the floor behind her)
Oh—
(to her cat, behind her)
No, you did not! Barney! Barney, no! You did NOT just pee on my—Barney—get back here!
(back to the zoom)
I’m sorry—I’m—Look—I— Can you hold on a minute? You don’t have to go—don’t go. Not yet—I mean, I just have to—I have to clean this up, but you can stay on. Stay on…Please…Don’t go.
(looks at screen and smiles, relieved he will not go)
Okay, I’m just gonna get a wipe. One sec.
(off screen)
Barney can be a pain but…he’s the only living thing I’ve touched in 8 weeks—END OF EXCERPT. Click below to download the entire monologue, HEAD TO TOE.