Fingernail Heart by Tara Meddaugh: a dark comedy monologue about love
Well, folks. It’s that time of year again! With just over 2 weeks away from Valentine’s Day, I’ll be spending the next few blog posts giving you some loved-based theater! (Can you hear the “love” sound effects in your mind? Birds? “Aws?” A glorious harpsichord? ) No guarantee it will be requited love, however. In fact, many of my “love-based” monologues tend to lean more on the side of yearning love, desperate love, unhappy love, a little…weird love… Which brings me to…
My brand new monologue, Fingernail Heart. Um, yes. You read that right. Fingernail heart. What the…??? Okay, I can explain. Well… Maybe it’s better if I let our protagonist, Emily (below), explain. After all, she’s put in the hard work to craft this fingernail heart. But I will say, if you’re a fan of Ferret Envy, then I think you’ll enjoy the quirky desperation of Fingernail Heart. Emily is confronting her ex-boyfriend (who clearly does NOT want to see her), and offering, yes, that’s right, her gift of a fingernail heart. This monologue is a blast for actors who are okay with slightly off-beat roles, because you can really lean into the absurdity, the humor, but at the same time, the gravity, emotional instability and darkness—all with that underlying feeling of “she is reaching a breaking point…she is reaching a breaking point…”. You’ll enjoy finding all those delightful moments to shift the tone, the tactic, while keeping the same basic intention (“will girl get boy?”).
This monologue runs around 1.5-2 minutes, and while written for a female character, as with most of my monologues, it can be suitable for inclusive casting, as long as the actor connects with it.
Enjoy an excerpt below!
________________
EMILY
(to her ex-boyfriend. She is horrified at something on the ground)
I can’t believe you just threw it on the ground!
(pause)
I collected your fingernails from the bathroom trash for 9 months, Erik. Nine months of sifting through tissues during Allergy Season and Bandaids when you had that wart—I know it sounds gross, but love can be dirty sometimes, and I’m willing to, you know, get down in the grime because…I love you, Erik! That should mean something to you.
(pause)
And…
(picks up a heart shape object made from fingernails)
This fingernail heart should mean something to you too. I crafted it with...well…with my own heart.
(pause)
And some ideas from Pinterest.
(pause)
And a few of my own fingernails I threw in, because love is about two people becoming one.
(pause)
I know you said you never want to see me again, but that was before I gave you this fingernail heart. And—don’t say it now—don’t—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue, Fingernail Heart, by Tara Meddaugh.