APPLE PIE PAIN
A comedic monologue for a female actor
By Tara Meddaugh
HOLLY is at home in the living room. She speaks to her husband, Jesse, who has been (or is!) watching tv. She is annoyed that her husband and kids went apple picking while she was working, then expect her to wash, slice and make apple pies out of the harvest with no thanks to her.
DETAILS:
Running time: Around 1-2 minutes, depending on performance
Cast: Female, 20s-50s
Time Period: Contemporary
Setting: Living room
Genre: Comedy, Fall
HOLLY
My hands are raw—look at them! I have so many cracks—do you know it stings when I squeeze the lemons? Yeah, it does. I bet you didn’t think about that yesterday. When you and the boys were sauntering around the apple orchard—picking all that low hanging fruit that even Sammy could reach. Eating cider donuts and launching rotten apples out of the apple cannon. Oh, I know you had fun while I was working at the hospital and brought me back this, what, I don’t know, bushel of apples? Yes, I say brought me back because no one else planned on washing all that white pesticide off of them, right?—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete female comedic monologue, APPLE PIE PAIN.