CHILDREN'S MONOLOGUES

Tara loves to write for children, as well as adults, and has crafted her monologues to stand out, be unique, and be entertaining for both kids and adults.  Tara's children's monologues for males and females are for children age 4, at the elementary school age level, through pre-teens at the middle school level.  These monologues are great for auditions, showcases, competitions, workshops, reels, classes, monologue slams, videos, performances etc, but please seek permission of use first by contacting Tara with your desired use of the monologue. You must always give proper credit.

Scroll down for descriptions and excerpts from children's monologues, or click the title for a link to the specific monologue. 

Monologue Packet: 19 Extracted Children’s Monologues from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN, Cast FEMALE/MALE Setting: Various
A Case for Astronaut Caroling, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/CHRISTMAS, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: Home
A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE Setting: A KITCHEN
A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, monologue Genre: DRAMA/COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN, Cast FEMALE, Setting: FOREST
Annoying Alien, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/CHILDREN/TEEN/TWEEN, Cast: Any gender, Setting: Bedroom
Begging Blitzen, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: A HOUSE
Boringest. Ghost. Ever., monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN’S/DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE/MALE/ANY GENDER, Setting: Bedroom
Butterfly in the Tomato Plant, monologue Genre: CHILDREN/DRAMATIC/TWEEN, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: A PARK
Candy Wrappers at Midnight, monologue Genre: CHILDREN’S/COMEDIC, Cast: MALE/FEMALE/FLEXIBLE, Setting: Midnight, Kitchen
Christmas Kale, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN, CHRISTMAS, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: HOME
Christmas Superpowers, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A MALL
Cloudlily The Unicorn & Zoey, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN/ADULT, Cast: FEMALE/MALE/ANY GENDER, Setting: FOREST
Cotton Candy Ice Cream Cone, monologue Genre: CHILDREN’S/COMEDY, Cast: FEMALE/MALE Setting: ICE CREAM SHOP
Covering My Ears, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/TEEN/CHILDREN Cast: FEMALE/MALE Setting: A BATHROOM
Eiffel Tower Keychain, monologue Genre: CHILDREN/DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: SCHOOLYARD
Forbidden in the Elf Manual, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHRISTMAS, Cast MALE/FEMALE/ANY GENDER, Setting: CLASSROOM
Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym Genre: COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN, cast MALE (female), Setting: A PARKING LOT
Grinching Mom by guest playwright, 6-year-old, Luke B. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN, cast MALE/FEMALE, Setting: Child’s bedroom
How to Eat Sand in Your Spinach Genre: CHILDREN’S/COMEDY, Cast: FEMALE (Male), Setting: ROOFTOP GARDEN
I am a Shark, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A BEACH
I Don’t Wanna Be A Jedi, monologue Genre: CHILDREN/COMEDIC (DRAMATIC), Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: BEDROOM
If I Were a Kind of Flower, monologue Genre: CHILDREN'S/TWEEN/PRETEEN/COMEDY/DRAMA, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: A CAFE
Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/TEEN/CHILDREN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: SAFARI JEEP
Ipad Fury, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A MINIVAN
Jingle Bell Hater, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN’S/CHRISTMAS, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: Class at the North Pole
Livvy's Vase, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN'S, Cast: FEMALE (MALE), Setting: HOUSE
Meeting Blitzen, monologue Genre: CHILDREN’S/COMEDIC/DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE (MALE), Setting: HOME
MR. SWIMMIE: monologue, comedy/children, female/male/any gender, outside a pet shop
MY MISSING SKITTLES: monologue, comedy/children/teen/Halloween, male/female/any gender; a kitchen
SANTA’S LOUSY JOB: monologue, comedy/children/Christmas, female; Santa’s village at a mall
SECOND-HAND DIRT: monologue, drama/comedy/children/teen, female/male/any gender; soil
SHEPHERD SUPERHEROES: monologue, comedy/children/Christmas, male/female/any gender; a church before a pageant
SKUNK MOMS, a trio of monologues: comedy/children/teen
TEDDY SHOULDN’T GO TO SPACE monologue: by guest playwright, 8-year-old Dylan B. comedy, male (any gender)
THE MUD PUDDLE monologue comedic/children, female (any gender)
THE THING ABOUT MERMAIDS: monologue, comedy/children, female/male/any gender
THE REAL VALUE OF CANDY: monologue, comedy/children, male/female/any gender
WHAT MY FANGS ARE FOR: monologue, comedy/thriller/drama/children/teen/Halloween, male/female/any gender
YOUR CRUCIAN CARPS ARE BLOCKING THE DOORWAY, MOM: monologue, comedic/children, male/female/any gender; bedroom

MONOLOGUE PACKET: CHRISTMAS SUPERPOWERS AND BELIEVING IN BLITZEN

DETAILS:
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN’S TEEN
Cast: MALE/FEMALE
Setting: Various, Christmas-themed
Running Time: Monologues in packet range from 30 seconds to around 3 minutes, most average 1-2 minutes

Enjoy 19 comedic monologues for children extracted from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Monologues range from 30 seconds to 3 minutes, and average at approximately 1-2 minutes long. Check out two free sample monologues from this packet, Santa’s Lousy Job and Shepherd Superheroes.

About the play: Take a snowy walk through the child-like magic of Christmas, where reindeer talk, Santa is real, and who wants super powers?
To four young children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride.  Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay... Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant.  Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy.

A WASTE OF A TOTALLY GOOD JELLY BEAN

STEVEN, a boy (ages 5-15) speaks to his dad. Steven has just shared his Easter jelly beans with his dad who has gobbled up a handful of them all at once. Steven implores his dad to eat the jelly beans the “right” way.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN
Cast: MALE/FEMALE
Setting: A kitchen
Age range: 5-15 years old
Run time: 1 minute

____________________

STEVEN

There is a wrong way. There's really a wrong way and you're doing it, Dad! You're doing it so wrong wrong wrong wrong! You're totally wasting them! You know how hard it was for me to get those? I mean, I waited all year...since last Easter. And—I—I—I don't mind sharing with you. Really. I like it when I can give you something that I really like and you like it too. But—this—this is just wrong, Dad. When someone gives you 20 jelly beans, and they're all different flavors like popcorn and chocolate pudding and blueberry, you don't just—you don't just shove them all in your mouth at once! Then you don't taste anything and it's just this giant blob of like, I don't know, sugary melted plastic or something. You gotta—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean."

A LIFE SPURRED INTO MEANINGFUL ADVENTURE, Goldilocks’ Monologue
A Monologue excerpted from the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure

About the play:
Goldilocks and Little Bear have run away from Little Bear’s house in the forest to start a new life together, one full of adventure and hope and away from judgmental eyes. However, they don’t quite know where they are going, how they will find their next meal, and Little Bear has never even made a shelter in the woods. Suddenly, the reality of two young friends on their own in the woods, does not seem as carefree as they once envisioned. To read the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, click here.

About the monologue:
Goldilocks, the clear leader of the pair, confesses to Little Bear that, despite her apparent confidence, she actually does not know where they are going. As Little Bear appears to be having second thoughts, Goldilocks does not know if her dear friend deserves to have a life without loving parents, like the one she has been ill-fated to endure. She expresses her gratitude of their friendship, but gives him the freedom to return to his protective and loving family, as the adventure she is embarking on will not be easy.

DETAILS
Genre: DRAMA/TEEN/COMEDY/CHILDREN
Cast: FEMALE
Setting: A FOREST
Age range: 10-20
Running time: Approximately 1 to 1.5 minutes

_______________________________

GOLDILOCKS

I…I don’t know where we’re going…We know your parents don’t accept me in your house.  And…I don’t have much of a home to offer you. (pause) You can go back, Little Bear. If you want to.  I mean—I’d understand.  You have a family that loves you.  You’re not like me. And…I don’t want you to become like me. Bears—They’re—they’re not meant to sleep in beds. But—look, maybe I’m not meant to be scavenging a forest for berries, and yet—this is where I am.  And…this is my life.  This is my adventure…but it doesn’t have to be yours—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for Goldilocks’s complete monologue of “A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure”

To read the complete 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure click below

ANNOYING ALIEN 

Having an alien ship land in Maleeha’s yard is not as cool as she thought it’d be. In fact, this nosy, noisy, hyperactive, slime-dripping alien is kind of annoying.

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedic/children/tween/teen
Running time: Approximately 1-1.5 minutes (depending on performance)
Cast: Any gender
Age range: any age child through tween or teen
Setting: Maleeha’s bedroom
Time period: contemporary

EXCERPT below:

MALEEHA

Oh, my gosh, Alien, stop being so annoying! Movies make you seem so much cooler than you actually are. You’re supposed to be cute or save my life or make me popular in school or something! But no one is gonna wanna hang out with me if you keep running around like a 2-year-old and making that weird sound all the time! It’s like you’re constantly chewing something gross with your mouth open. (Maleeha sees the alien dripping slime into her bureau drawers.) Can you please stop going through my stuff? You’re getting orange slime on my clothes and—ew! Are you eating my—stop eating my science project! I have to—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK BELOW for the complete 1-1.5 minute children’s monologue, ANNOYING ALIEN.

BEGGING BLITZEN
From the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen

ANNIE, a girl of 5-10 years old, speaks to Blitzen, one of Santa’s reindeer who has been visiting her in the afternoons. She is in her living room speaking to him through the window as he stands outside.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN
Cast: FEMALE (MALE)
Setting: A LIVING ROOM WITH WINDOW
Age range: 5-12

____________________

ANNIE

Hey…you’re magical, right?  Like, you don’t have wings, I know that. But I know you fly. I’ve seen you on Christmas Eve.  Plus, I think I saw you practicing your route on Thanksgiving night—right before we met. And, you talk, which has got to be magical because I keep talking to Bilbo—you know, my golden retriever—and he never talks back. Most of the time, I don’t think he even understands me except when I said “go for a walk.” (pause) I know you have hooves, not fingers and hands, but—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the entire free digital monologue, Begging Blitzen. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

BORINGEST. GHOST. EVER

Ayla is frustrated that her middle-of-the-night visitor won’t play with her, won’t talk until the wee hours of the night with her, and won’t even tell her what her name is! Instead, this girl in the odd dress just keeps…well…standing there. Staring at Ayla. Being the boringest ghost she’s ever seen.

DETAILS:
Genre: Drama/Comedy/Children/Halloween
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Cast: Any gender
Age range: Child
Setting: bedroom at night
Time period: contemporary

AYLA

Why do you always come to my room if you never want to play? I have so much stuff to do in here, and I even got a new Lego set I haven’t opened yet, and we could stay up all night and no one would know! (pause) But you won’t talk to me. Or even sing! (pause) Are you gonna at least tell me your name tonight? So I don’t have to keep calling you ‘girl in the ripped up old dress?’ —END OF EXCERPT. CLICK BELOW for the complete 1-minute children’s monologue, BORINGEST. GHOST. EVER.

BUTTERFLY IN THE TOMATO PLANT

NICOLE relates to a butterfly with a torn wing, after a group of children mishandled it. She offers the butterfly a safe home in her windowsill.

DETAILS
Genre: Dramatic/Children/Tween/Teen
Cast: Female/male
Age range: 5-12
Setting: A park
Running time: Approximately 30 seconds
Great for: children, dramatic monologue for children, short monologue, competitions, auditions, monologues relating to bullying, finding strength, caring for others

Originally Commissioned by American Pageants.

_____________________

NICOLE

Oh…Little Butterfly…they ripped your wing…Didn’t they? Those kids…They’re in my class but they are not nice kids. They ripped my bag yesterday too. My mom sewed it up, but you can still see the hole. I thought if I had wings—END OF EXCERPT

Click below for the complete digital copy of the 30-second monologue, Butterfly in the Tomato Plant.

CANDY WRAPPERS AT MIDNIGHT

ADRIAN wakes up in the middle of the night and confronts his father who stands by the kitchen pantry, guiltily holding Adrian’s Halloween candy wrappers.

Genre: Comedic/Children
Age range: 5-15
Cast: Male/female
Setting: Kitchen home
Running time: 30-60 seconds 
Originally commissioned by American Pageants, Inc. 

____________________________

ADRIAN

Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. I know that face. I made that same face last night when you found me past bedtime on my iphone. But we’re not talking about me now, are we? Cause I’m not the one with candy wrappers in my hands at midnight!—END OF EXCERPT

Click below for the complete 30-60 second monologue, Candy Wrappers at Midnight. NOTE: This monologue is adapted/edited from Tara’s previous monologue, My Missing Skittles.

 CHRISTMAS KALE
From the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
By Tara Meddaugh

About the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen (from which this monologue comes):
To four children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride.  Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay. Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant.  Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy.

 About the monologue, Christmas Kale:
It is Christmas morning and Sam speaks to his parents. He is outraged that Santa has, yet again, given him oranges in his stocking, despite his previous complaints that he doesn’t like them. Since Santa has not heeded his requests, he devises a simple plan that will teach Santa a lesson.

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children/Tween/Teen
Cast: Male/female
Age range: 5-12
Setting: Christmas morning, his home
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

_____________________

SAM

Oh….! Not again! Not again! Not again!  I’ve told him so many times! I! Don’t! Like! Oranges! (pause) But every year—he keeps putting them in my stocking!  I don’t want oranges! They’re messy! And I can’t peel them myself! And the stringy stuff always gets stuck in my teeth. I don’t like oranges! (pause) Travis gets a chocolate truck every year in his stocking. He just lives two minutes away!  It’s the same—END OF EXCERPT

Click below for the complete 1-minute children’s comedic monologue, Christmas Kale.

To learn about Sam, and for the complete one-act children’s comedy play, CHRISTMAS SUPERPOWERS AND BELIEVING IN BLITZEN, click below:

CHRISTMAS SUPERPOWERS
from the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen

DYLAN, a boy of 5-10 years old, sits on Santa’s lap at the mall. He’s behaved very well this year in preparation for his Christmas gift request. This year he’s hoping for something big. Something he is confident Santa can deliver on. He wants superpowers. Not too much to ask, right?

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A mall
Age range: 5-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

____________________

DYLAN

I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. I’ve done everything you told me to in your letter last year. I’ve stopped hitting my little brother. I don’t complain—very much—when I have to do homework. I even donated seven toys to Goodwill yesterday ‘cause Mom said I didn’t have enough room for anything more. So I’m ready, Santa. I’m only asking you for one thing this year. And you can try to steer me away from it all you want by telling me about how you made a new truck this year and how I can do hundreds of things with a big set of blocks and how there are some funny books out there you know I’ll like. But it won’t stop me from asking for it. It’s why I’ve been so good this year and why I know you’re going to listen to me.  So I’ll tell you again. (leans it) I want a—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Christmas Superpowers."

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

For a hard copy of the entire one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

CLOUDLILY THE UNICORN & ZOEY
a comedy

CloudLily, a rainbow unicorn, looooves all the “thoughtful” gifts her young admirer, Zoey, brings her every day in the magical forest. Sure, weeds and clumps of dirt are nice, since they’re given with the pure heart of a 4-year-old. But… CloudLily thinks it’s time she can put in a request for a gift that’s a little more…well…yummy.

DETAILS 
Genre: Comedy, fantasy
Cast: Female/male/any gender                                      
Age range: children through adult
Setting: magical forest
Time period: Present
Running time: Approximately 30 seconds-1 minute

CLOUDLILY

(to Zoey, a girl of around 4)               

Zoey. I love the dandelions and clovers and…clumps of dirt you keep bringing me every day. They’re all really cool and special and I know it’s super fun watching my magical unicorn horn turn them into rainbow colors and make them dance and stuff like that.

But I hear——END OF EXCERPT
Click here to for the complete free monologue, Cloudlily The Unicorn & Zoey. The monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

COTTON CANDY ICE CREAM CONE

 Yuri is at an ice cream shop. She has a two-scoop ice cream cone and breaks the bad news to her dog, Bailey, that he can’t share her ice cream. It has some chocolate in it, which she knows is bad for dogs. He doesn’t want to die from chocolate, does he? But maybe if he stops chewing her shoes…she will let him have the cone.

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedy/Children’s
Running time: Around 1 minute
Cast: Female/male
Age range: 5 years old through teen
Setting: Ice cream shop
Time period: Contemporary

____________________

YURI

I bet this ice cream looks good to you, doesn’t it? It is good. I’m not gonna pretend it’s bad even if you makes you jealous that you can’t have it. ‘Cause Mom said I should never lie unless it’s about my age so we can get the cheaper tickets to places. The first scoop is cotton candy, and it’s melting already, but it’s still not as messy as real cotton candy, which is so sticky. And I bet my tongue is blue from it, right? Can you see if it’s blue? Oh, wait. I don’t think you see color. Can you?—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the complete free monologue, Cotton Candy Ice Cream Cone.

This monologue is free to download above, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

COVERING MY EARS

Whitney is in the bathroom, envisioning the calmness, peace and escape covering her ears in the shower gives her, before the abrupt harshness of reality comes when she uncovers her ears.

DETAILS
Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN/TEEN monologue
Cast: FEMALE/MALE
Setting: A bathroom
Age Range: 12-70+
Running time: approximately 2 minutes long

____________________

WHITNEY

I cover my ears in the shower. I stand there—letting the water drip down my hair, my back. I turn into it. It flows down my face. It’s loud. Not like thunder. It’s…it’s…peaceful. Like…I’m swimming under water, in a lake, it’s dark and the rain is pouring down. It’s loud under water. But it’s quiet. Muffled.  Calm. There are no problems under water. There is no yelling. No hurt. No pain. Everything is erased. And no one knows me.  What I’ve done. What’s been done to me. I’m nothing under the water. And nothing is…freeing. To me. (pause)  I uncover my ears. (pause) I have to. I know I can’t stand like this forever. (pause) And when I do--END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue of "Covering My Ears"

EIFFEL TOWER KEYCHAIN
A dramatic children’s monologue

LINDSEY gains strength as she confronts a bully who has taken a precious glass souvenir of hers.

DETAILS
Genre: Dramatic/Children/Tween/Teen
Cast: Female/male
Age range: 5-12
Setting: A schoolyard
Running time: Approximately 30 seconds

 EXCERPT BELOW:

_____________________ 

LINDSEY

It’s from Paris—please! Don’t drop—it’s glass! Please. Listen—Just— (pause) My dad gave it to me. That Eiffel Tower keychain. He…he moved there, to France, last year and I don’t…I don’t see him much now. And…(pause) I know you think it’s just a dumb keychain and—END OF EXCERPT

Click here for the complete digital free 30-second children’s dramatic monologue, Eiffel Tower Keychain. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

FORBIDDEN IN THE ELF MANUAL
A monologue from GRINCHING 101

About the play, GRINCHING 101:
Grinch professors, Sourpuss Fuddy Duddy and Killjoy Cactus Snarl, are pleased to find their Grinching 101 classroom filled with eager elf-students desiring to learn the art of becoming a grinch. However, the class of bright-eyed cheerful students are blatantly failing. Every. Single. Lesson. Are the elves really that dull? Are they actually trying? Or is there some other reason they’re all in this class…? And is there anything, like, anything at all, that maybe…just maybe… the grinches can learn from the sugar-loving, compliment-spewing elves?
For the complete play, Grinching 101, click here.

About the monologue, Forbidden in the Elf Manual:
The Grinching 101 professors have expressed frustration in their inept class of elves and wonder why they are even enrolled in the course. Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings explains his reasoning for signing up for Grinching 101: It’s all about the videogames.

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedic/Children/Teen/Christmas
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Cast: Male (or any gender)
Age range: Any age
Setting: A Grinching 101 Classroom at the North Pole
Time period: contemporary

EXCERPT
________________________________ 

TOOTSIE FROSTED COOKIE STOCKINGS 

(clarifying name for the Grinching Professors who hate hearing the elves’ long ridiculous sugary names) It’s Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings. And the reason I came here today—the reason I thought I might actually be a bit of a grinch inside is that…well…I know this is going to terrify everyone, so brace yourself. But… (ELVES lean in) I hate making snowballs. (ELVES gasp) And sledding. (ELVES gasp) And frolicking in the snow at all really. I mostly just wanna play videogames. And not like, “Fill Santa’s Sleigh” videogames. I’ve—END OF EXCERPT
Click here for the free monologue, Forbidden in the Elf Manual. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

To read the entire play, GRINCHING 101, from which this monologue comes, click below:

FORGIVENESS AND DEFEAT AT A POKEMON GYM

Benjamin, a boy of around 16 years old, is at a Stop and Shop grocery store parking lot, around midnight. He is speaking with his long time friend (and probably crush), Evie, who is quite angry with him.  Unknowingly, he has defeated the pokemon gym belonging to her team, and now he needs to prove he would never battle with her on purpose...but is it too late?

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN'S
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: In a parking lot of a grocery store. Late at night.
Age range: 12-20 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 to 1.5 minutes long

 _____________________

BENJAMIN

I know you’re mad—I just saw your post of that face with the flames coming out of its head, and I’m just—aw, Evie, I know it looks bad.  I know you won’t believe me, but listen, it’s not, it’s just, it’s not what it looks like. (pause) How was I supposed to know it was you?  You’re a—you’re a girl with really long hair, but your avatar looks kind of like a boy with short hair.   Which is fine, but I mean, right there, that should show you I’m innocent.  And—I never would have thought you’d choose yellow.  Your favorite color is blue—it’s always been blue…like your eyes…And look at your bike, Evie—it’s blue too.  It still has those butterfly decals you put on when you were nine.  I put on the lightning bolts (pause) I know there isn’t much I can do now—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym."

GRINCHING MOM
By guest playwright, 6-year-old, Luke B.

Max, a child, around 8 years old, is standing in the doorway, holding his mom’s lamp. His mom catches him, red-handed, about to take her lamp into his bedroom. Max offers her an explanation of this theft, which might not be what you think—and tries to convince her he is not to blame.

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children
Cast: male or female, child
Setting: A child’s bedroom
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

__________________________

MAX

Well, I know it looks weird for me to hold your lamp in my hand, but I have a good reason. My light doesn’t work! (smirks) You don’t believe me? (pause) I was grinching it! What? You don’t know what grinching is! It’s when someone takes something. It’s from the grinch movie. Remember? We watch it a lot. It’s like where the grinch goes over house to house stealing everything. Can’t I have a little fun, Mom? All— END OF EXCERPT
Click below to purchase the entire monologue:

 HOW TO EAT SAND IN YOUR SPINACH
A monologue from the full-length play,
The Victory Garden Plays:
Part I: Ruby and Millie and the Dying Cucumbers

DETAILS
Cast: Female/male
Age range: 7-12 years old
Genre: Comedy
Running time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
Setting: Rooftop garden of an apartment complex, 1940s

About the play, The Victory Garden Plays, from which this monologue was extracted/edited:
While soldiers fight abroad in WW2, those remaining on the Homefront strive to make a difference by creating Victory Gardens, supplementing limited food supply. But the pressures on the homefront extend much further than simply growing produce. A child worries her failing rooftop garden is an omen of misfortune for her father’s return from a POW camp. An infertile woman throws her purpose into feeding neighborhood families. A wealthy man whose chemical plant is commissioned by the government for war purposes struggles with how to leave a meaningful legacy not tainted with warfare. These stories, and more, are given light in The Victory Garden Plays, a series of 7 vignettes chronicling people’s journeys with their new realities of love, growth, life and death. Learn more here.

About the monologue, How to Eat Sand in Your Spinach:
Ruby, a girl of around 9 years old, is tending to her WW2 Victory Garden on top of her apartment complex in New York. Her father is in a POW Camp in Europe and she believes that having a successful garden will help win the war and bring her father back home.  It’s late, and she gives her last bits of encouragement to her growing produce in their crates before her older sister makes her go to bed.

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RUBY

(Ruby gently touches some vegetable growth in a crate) Swell job, little lettuce! Really swell! Papa’s gonna eat you up when he comes back! Oh—maybe I shouldn’t have said that! Pretend I didn’t say that. Swell job anyway, Lettuce! (walks to next crate) And such brave carrots! Yes, you’re brave! Brave! (walks to next crate) Oh, this one! This is—you’ll never believe it, Millie. But this is—can you believe we’re growing watermelon in White Plains?  I told Margaret that—she’s in 44-C. You know her? She’s just a little kid. Maybe five or six. She’s so sick of that spinach her mother buys. Her mother doesn’t wash it right, even though if she listened to Mrs. Gannon on the radio, she’d know how!  But Margaret says they don’t have a radio, so there’s sand in the spinach every time. I told her, when she eats it, just imagine she’s on vacation at the beach at Coney Island. I always get sand in my gum there. But—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the FREE children’s monologue, How to Eat Sand in Your Spinach. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

I AM A SHARK

Jaime is standing at a beach when confronted by a group of bullies who push him into the sand. He imagines he is a shark who is tough and can feel no pain.

DETAILS:
Genre: Drama/Children/Teen
Running time: Approximately 2 minutes
Cast: Male/Female, 10 years and up
Setting: A beach

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JAMIE

Sometimes, when I stand on the beach and look out at the ocean, I imagine I’m a shark.  My feet are hot, so hot they’re burning.  Burning so much, I start to not feel the pain anymore.  I take several deep breaths, and I breathe out the heat through my nose.  I can feel it leaving me.  My feet are tingling.  A little numb.  But I feel no pain.  I am a shark.  I’m swimming through the water and you can cut me with your knives, but my skin is hard and I am tough.  And I feel no pain.  A boy, this boy I know, but wish I didn’t, runs out of the ocean and past me.  I feel the cold water he’s brought in on my legs.  He’s tossed sand on me too and it’s sticking to me.  I reach my hand down to feel the roughness on my legs.  It’s like sandpaper.  His friend runs out of the water too, chasing him, and he bumps into me.  Pushes past me—END OF EXCERPT
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I DON’T WANNA BE A JEDI

Joel has had enough of pretending to love Star Wars for his dad. He can handle eating some Star Wars donuts, but his dad has gone too far when he expects Joel to wear Jedi pajamas. Joel needs to break this tough news to his dad. Star Wars just isn’t for him. Captain Underpants is more his style.

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedy/Children’s
Running time: Around 1 minute
Cast: Male/Female
Age range: 5 years old through teen
Setting: Joel’s bedroom
Time period: Contemporary

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JOEL

I tried Dad, I really tried. I watched all those movies with you and ate the donut holes you decorated like BB8. But these Jedi pajamas? I can’t do it anymore! I can’t keep pretending. You’re old enough to know the truth, Dad. So…the truth? I hate how Luke’s father is a bad guy and talks like he’s old and sick. I don’t like the love stories or how they keep fighting each other, and you say the aliens are funny and I’ll like them, but I just think they’re weird. (pause) Aw, Dad…you’re not gonna cry, are you? I know this is hard to hear ‘cause you have a lightsaber keychain with sound effects, and on May 4th, you say—END OF EXCERPT

Click below for the complete monologue of "I Don’t Wanna Be A Jedi.”

IF I WERE A KIND OF FLOWER

Anibel speaks to her older sister, Gracie, at a café. Anibel expresses joy that her newly planted daffodils actually came up for the first year, but also expresses concern that they will die in the Spring snowstorm. Her mother has faith in the daffodil’s strength, but Anibel is not so certain. She imagines how she would respond to the snow, if she were a daffodil.

DETAILS
Genre: DRAMA/CHILDREN
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: A CAFE
Age range: 5-11
Length: Approximately 1-1.5 minutes

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ANIBEL

Do you know the daffodils I planted last year actually came up? They did! I was like, “What are these little yellow hats doing in the grass?” And then I was like, “They’re not hats, Anibel! They’re your daffodils!” It worked, Gracie! I planted them with Mom and she said they would come up and I didn’t believe her but they did come up! (pause) But then now, there’s all this snow covering them, and it’s already Spring, and it’s not right, but the world keeps getting weirder and weirder. (pause) I don’t want my daffodils to die, Gracie… (pause) Mom said daffodils are really strong and excited for Spring, like me, and that’s why they come up so quickly after Winter. She thinks they’ll survive the snow. (pause) I don’t know if I believe her, but if I were a daffodil, I would—END OF EXCERPT

Click for the complete free pdf of the monologue, If I Were A Kind of Flower. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

IOWA IS GONNA BE SO JEALOUS

RYAN is a boy, around 7-18 years old. He is on a South African safari with his parents. He is in the safari jeep. A camping pack has just fallen off the jeep and a rhino charged at it while the jeep was driving. Ryan speaks to his parents.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDIC/TEEN/CHILDREN
Cast: MALE/FEMALE
Setting: SAFARI JEEP
Age range: 7-18
Running time: Approximately 1 - 1.5 minutes

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RYAN

Did you see it? Did you see him charge? Like—I’ve—he charged, Mom!  Dad—did you see him charge? That’s—you know rhinos can’t really see well? Did you know that? I mean, they charge before they even know what they’re charging at and—that could have been us! You know? It was just the tent pack that fell off the jeep, but—man…It could have been us! (pause) This is the best trip ever!! (quick pause) First, there’s no hot water at the camp during the day so, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you haven’t made me take a shower since Thursday!  And remember how the camp kitchen wasn’t working yesterday so we got to have Lucky Charms and popcorn at dinner?  Plus, when you guys fell asleep last night, I played on my Kindle for 4 hours and got to level 5 in Geometry Dash Meltdown!  I knew a safari would be cool. I mean—END OF EXCERPT
Click for a free pdf of complete monologue, Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

IPAD FURY

JUSTIN, a boy, 7-15 years old, is sitting in the driver’s side of his mom’s Toyota Sienna minivan. The keys are in the ignition, the doors are locked. The window is open about 1 inch. Justin’s mom is standing next to the driver’s side of the car, locked out.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast MALE/FEMALE
Setting: A MINIVAN
Age range: 7-15 years old
Running time: approximately 1 minute long

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JUSTIN

Just because I’m not a teenager yet doesn’t mean I can’t drive a car. You think I won’t do it?  I might not be good at it, but remember how long it took me to tie my shoes? I had those laces in knots no one knew what to do with, for years, but I didn’t stop. I just kept practicing. You say it’s good to be a hard worker.  Well, my strength is also my weakness, I guess.  Look at how that came to bite you, Mom. Because you know all it would take is for me to put this Sienna in reverse. Just back it out of the driveway nice and slow or maybe not nice and slow. Maybe fast and--END OF EXCERPT
CLICK BELOW FOR THE COMPLETE MONOLOGUE OF "IPAD FURY."

JINGLE BELL HATER

About the play, GRINCHING 101:
Grinch professors, Sourpuss Fuddy Duddy and Killjoy Cactus Snarl, are pleased to find their Grinching 101 classroom filled with eager elf-students desiring to learn the art of becoming a grinch. However, the class of bright-eyed cheerful students are blatantly failing. Every. Single. Lesson. Are the elves really that dull? Are they actually trying? Or is there some other reason they’re all in this class…? And is there anything, like, anything at all, that maybe…just maybe… the grinches can learn from the sugar-loving, compliment-spewing elves? Click here for the complete play, GRINCHING 101.

About the monologue, Jingle Bell Hater:
The Grinching 101 professors have expressed frustration in their inept class of elves and wonder why they are even enrolled in the course. Fluffy McWaffles Tart explains his reasoning for signing up for Grinching 101: It has to do with those “saccharine-stevia-monk-fruit-sugar-free” jingle bells! And brownies. And eggnog. It all comes back to eggnog…

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedic, children, Teen, Christmas, Theater for Young Audiences
Running time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
Cast: Male (or any gender)
Age range: child, teen or adult for TYA
Setting: A Grinching 101 Classroom at the North Pole
Time period: contemporary

EXCERPT below:

 FLUFFY MCWAFFLES TART

The reason I’m here is… well… I was getting really sick of hearing the jingle bells go off every time I moved—like, every single time. You know? I take one step. I jingle. I lift a mug of hot cocoa to my lips and I jingle. I sneeze. I jingle. It’s like a signal to everyone around that I’m doing something. Anything. Does that sound bother anyone else? Well, I hate it. (ELVES gasp) And the last straw was this morning. I came out to the kitchen before anyone else woke up. I started to have some brownies and eggnog, but my mom comes in and sees I’m not eating breakfast food and scolds me! She says, “You’re going to spoil your appetite! You had better still eat all the candy canes I made for breakfast!” (pause) And the thing is—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue, JINGLE BELL HATER.

For the complete play, GRINCHING 101, from which this monologue comes, click below:

  LIVVY'S VASE
Adapted from the ten-minute play, Holding Ginger.

Jenna is standing in the hallway of her house.  Her older sister, Livvy, is near her, and they’ve both witnessed Jenna’s running through the hall and knocking over Livvy’s (empty) glass vase. There is broken glass on the floor.

DETAILS
Genre: DRAMATIC/COMEDIC
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: HOUSE
Age range: 5-13 years old
Running time: approximately 1-1.5 minutes long

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JENNA

Uh oh…uh oh…I’m sorry!  I’m so...I’ll clean it up! Right now!  I’ll—I didn’t do it on purpose. You know that, right?  It was an accident! I was just running through—I know I’m not supposed to be running through the hall, but…Ginger was chasing that ball and I was trying to catch him…Come on.  I’m sorry.  Okay?  I just bumped into it by accident…I’m cleaning it up, see?  Even though Mom would probably be mad I’m touching glass like this and you’re not helping even though you’re older than I am.  But look—I’m doing it!  I’m really sorry, Livvy.   You’ve had that vase for…I don’t know…when did that boy give it to you?  You were…were you my age?  Maybe older.  No boy has given me flowers yet—END OF EXCERPT
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MEETING BLITZEN

This monologue, Meeting Blitzen, is extracted and edited from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

About the play: To four children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride.  Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay. Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant.  Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy. To read the one-act play from which this monologue comes, click here.

About the monologue: While making Christmas cookies, Annie speaks to her friends about her first encounter with her new friend, one of Santa’s reindeer. And he said his name is Blitzen.

DETAILS:
Genre: Children/Comedy/Drama/Christmas/Holiday
Setting: Kitchen
Cast: Female/Male
Age range: around 5-16
Running time: Approximately 30 seconds 

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ANNIE

So I’m sitting on the couch and not really paying attention to what I’m watching when…I hear this sound outside the window.  It was, it was like this heavy sound, like a horse or something, crunching the snow. Remember how we had that snow at Thanksgiving? So I hear this sound and I look out the window—END OF EXCERPT
Click to download the free 30-second monologue, Meeting Blitzen, by Tara Meddaugh.This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

MR. SWIMMIE

Chloe tries to convince her mom she has matured since she let her pet fish die, and now she is ready to take care of a puppy.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: FEMALE/MALE
Setting: A HOME
Age range: 4-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

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CHLOE

I know Mr. Swimmie died, but this is different. Mr. Swimmie was weird as soon as we got him. Half the time he swam backwards, remember? I’m not a veterinarian but I do not think fish are supposed to swim backwards. I did try to feed him—when I thought of it. You know, like when you bake that chocolate cherry cake I love or even if you were making that gross pot roast that stinks up the house. I had to think of food because I was smelling it. So I’d feed him. Like, every day. Honest! (pause) So I know I forgot a few days. I’m not perfect like Emily, ok? Maybe I was —END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR COMPLETE FREE MR. SWIMMIE MONOLOGUE This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

MY MISSING SKITTLES

Sal, a child 5-12 years old, has woken up in the middle of the night to find his father by the kitchen pantry, holding several Skittles’ candy wrappers in his hand. Sal confronts his dad about where his dad may have gotten this candy from, just days after Sal’s Halloween candy was put away into this very closet…

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN
Cast: MALE/FEMALE
Age range: 5-10 years old
Setting: KITCHEN
Running Time: Approximately 1 minute

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SAL

Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. I know that face. I made that same face last night when you asked if I was playing with my Ipad after I went to bed. You could hear the fighting sounds. You knew I was. But we’re not talking about me right now. Are we? Cause I’m not the one standing by the closet with Skittles’ wrappers in my hands. Did you buy Skittles tonight, Dad? Cause I didn’t think you bought candy at stores. I thought you just bought milk and Band-Aids at stores, and only when Mom asked you to. Not Skittles. (pause) But I do remember what happened 2 nights ago when…END OF EXCERPT.
CLICK BELOW FOR COMPLETE MONOLOGUE.

SANTA'S LOUSY JOB
From the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen

LAUREN sits on Santa’s lap at the mall. She informs him of her poor job gift-giving last year. She does not simply want stuffed animals this year because she’s a girl. Girls can build things too. This year, she wants some legos. And he can bring her little brother a stuffed animal.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: FEMALE
Setting: A STORE
Age range: 5-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

____________________

LAUREN

You did a really bad job last year. I know I’m just a kid, and I know they say what you do is hard, but I mean, I could have done a way better job. And I’m not even 10.  Like, here’s a tip. Girls like to build things too. Okay?  If you knew me at all, you’d know that. You give my brother, like, 4 Lego packages and you give me, what? A stuffed dog, a stuffed rabbit with a baby rabbit, a stuffed kangaroo with a baby kangaroo and a…what was the other one?  A stuffed alligator. With an egg. I mean, do you think I’m like those babies who throw everything at people’s heads so you have to only give me soft things so if I throw them I’m not gonna hurt anyone? Do you know how bored those poor babies are who only have stuffed animals?—END OF EXCERPT
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SECOND-HAND DIRT
From the full-length play, Movements of the Wind, 2nd movement, Sharing Soil

About the play, Movements of the Wind:
As wind sweeps through a garden, its inhabitants must confront the volatile effects of Mother Nature, as well as their own changing nature. The story follows several short, intertwined pieces, as Carrot and Potato, taught to be enemies from birth, struggle to remain friends, Tulip wants more out of life than only her partner, and two pieces of pollen attempt to make a dangerous jump from a dying flower to a fresh one. Through sacrifice and friendship, they must not only survive their trials, but also come to populate another generation.

About the 10-minute play/scene from Movements of the Wind, Sharing Soil:
In soil cultures, prejudices run deep for carrots and potatoes. But when bully vegetables draw Carrot and Potato together, they must decide if their new friendship is worth risking their safety and rejection from their own garden cultures.

About the monologue, Second-Hand Dirt:
Carrot has just run away from mean carrots who have bitten off her carrot tip, and has been alone crying. Soon, Potato ambles by, and Carrot mistakes her for a lumpy brown carrot. Carrot is embarrassed and hurt from her run-in with the bullying carrots and speaks harshly to the potato. Potato thinks Carrot is acting mean to her. In this monologue, Carrot explains her failed attempts of being accepted into the mainstream carrot group.

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Teen/Drama/Allegory
Cast: Female (male)
Age range: 12-20
Setting: Garden
Running time: Approximately 45 seconds - 1 minute

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CARROT

They’re always picking at me. The carrots at the north end. Just because I’m beautiful, and strong! (pause) I’m not mean! (pause) Well, they make me mean. (pause) I usta be nice.  Too nice, I guess.  You know, when Carrot 92’s mother got taken away, I offered her some of the moistest soil I had.  I’d been guarding that soil ever since I can remember.  And I’m still young and growing, you know?  But I offer it to her anyway!  And you know what she does? END OF EXCERPT

CLICK HERE for the free, complete monologue, Second-Hand Dirt. This monologue is free to download above, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

To read the complete full-length play, Movements of the Wind, from which this monologue comes, click below:

To read only the 10-minute movement, Sharing Soil, from Movements of the Wind, click below:

SHEPHERD SUPERHEROES
from the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen

SAM, a boy, 5-10 years old, is playing the part of a shepherd in a Christmas Pageant. It is the night of the performance and he, along with other shepherds, have been playing outside in the mud in their costumes.  They have returned to the church, moments before the performance is about to start and the pageant director is not happy. Sam speaks to the Pageant director, Mrs. Wendell.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A church
Age range: 5-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

 _____________________

  SAM

What you’re forgetting—I mean—think about it—what you’re forgetting is that, is that, is that, shepherds weren’t neat. They didn’t, like, have a washing machine or something.  They were out in the dirt with the sheep and stuff and probably had to, I don’t know, like, sleep in a mud puddle sometimes? If it was raining? And you told us to really try to think like our character, like, what would a shepherd be doing if he was just out there with the sheep all day? And like, I think, a shepherd would probably be playing. Because he has all those sheep to jump over and stuff, and maybe all the other shepherds to play with too, so I was thinking they’d probably be playing Superheroes—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the free digital copy of the 1-minute comedic holiday monologue, Shepherd Superheroes. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

SKUNK MOMS
A trio of related monologues for children

JENNY (youngest), ALEXA (middle) and DEIRDRE (oldest) are sisters. They are speaking to their mother, pleading their case of why a baby skunk would make a good pet for their household.  Jenny makes the case of how cute they are. Alexa points out how she usually thinks Jenny is wrong, but in this case, she agrees and they must have a baby skunk.  Deirdre emphasizes how having a baby skunk will unite the three sisters, in getting along with each other, as well as learning responsibility. It is such a clear case to the sisters. They are so completely ready to be skunk moms. But is their mom?

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: A home
Age range: 4-12 years old
Running times:
Jenny (youngest)—Around 30-60 seconds
Alexa (middle)—Around 1 minute
Deirdre (oldest)—Around 1-1.5 minutes

____________________

JENNY

No one gives skunks a chance because they stink, like really badly, but have you seen a baby skunk, Mom?  You would never say that if you had seen a baby skunk because we saw one yesterday, with Daddy, or really, it was a whole family of skunks. Like, a mom and four baby skunks, and we were in the car, and Daddy stopped the car because they were crossing the road and they were cuter than cats because their tails were so fluffy, like the rug you have on the chair that I put my face in sometimes, and there is no cat, I mean, not even one single cat in the whole universe, that has a tail that’s as fluffy at that. And--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms.

____________________

ALEXA

You know Jenny is usually wrong, Mom. And I have to tell her all of her mistakes, like even this morning, she was saying that Canada is not a country, and that’s it part of the United States, but I was telling her, no, it’s a country, and they have accents and their own money and we even went to Niagara Falls and had to have passports, but she wouldn’t believe me because now that she’s in Kindergarten, she thinks she knows everything, but you and I, Mom, we know, because we’re older, that she’s wrong so many times. She even told me her teacher is a pokemon trainer. She’s not. Clearly. Pokemon aren’t real. So, like, if I agree with Jenny--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms.

____________________

DEIRDRE

You might be a little scared thinking of a skunk living in our house, and spraying its yellow stink-poison all over the couch, but the thing is, it doesn’t have to be like that. You can take the sprayers out, wait, just listen—you can take them out, because Alexa and I asked Siri about and people do this. People really keep skunks as pets and you can just, you can just take the sprayers out and put them, I don’t know, in the trash or use them for Science or something. And then they’re just like, a cat, but so much better, as Jenny was saying, and we can use the doll brush to brush its hair, because we know it will need brushing, and we’re all okay taking turns doing that. And really, we’ll take turns with everything. Feeding it, and walking it, and I had the idea to put little shoes on it. Wouldn’t that be really cute? And I think it’s actually a way to bring all three of us together, like as sisters, and--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms. These Skunk Mom monologues are free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

SNOWMAN VERSUS SUN

Titus confronts the sun in the age-old problem of Snowman versus Hot Sun. He has spent 40 minutes making a snowman when he could have been doing a lot of indoor activities (like playing video games or having a hot chocolate bomb). Titus first threatens to use his stored-up superpowers to control the sun, but then leans on pleading with the sun to just be nice and not melt his snowman. At least until his birthday (which is, um, in the summer…).

DETAILS
Genre: comedy/children
Cast: Male/Female/inclusive casting
Age range: 4-10
Setting: Outside, winter
Time period: Contemporary
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

____________________

TITUS

(speaks to the sun in the sky)Mom said I can’t look directly at you, but you can look directly at me, so I hope you see how serious I am! I’m gonna use all those superpowers I’ve been storing up to control you! Yes, you, Sun! I spent 40 minutes making this snowman. 40 minutes when I could have been playing Mario Kart on the Switch! Or drinking a hot chocolate bomb! Or watching youtube. But I’m outside. And I rolled those snowballs all by myself and they got really heavy! (he might try to use superpowers, or might think better of it) Okay. (pause) Maybe I—END OF EXCERPT

Click here for the free complete 1-minute monologue, Snowman Versus Sun, by Tara Meddaugh. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

TEDDY SHOULDN'T GO TO SPACE
Written by guest playwright, 8-year-old, Dylan B.

Jackson, around 8 years old, speaks to a NASA agent who has arrived at his doorstep. He pleads with him not to take his dog, Teddy, to space for a host of reasons. But all that aside, Jackson has another reason he dog can’t go to the moon…Teddy’s services have already been requested…elsewhere.

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children/Teen
Cast: Male/female
Age range: 5-13
Running Time: Approximately 1 minute

_________________________

JACKSON

You really shouldn’t send my dog to the moon. Remember you said that the rocket was fast, to convince me? Well, in space the faster you go, the farther you go to the future. So I won’t see Teddy for months! Also you’re not even paying me. And I know most kids would be excited about this, so…you don’t need to worry about paying—but still. You could run out of air. Get attacked by cosmic radiation, run out of gas, or freeze! You should go get volunteers. So once you leave, you can keep that in mind. And I see—END OF EXCERPT
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THE MUD PUDDLE

Sophie is standing by a mud puddle.  Isabelle has pushed her in the mud puddle two times already and Sophie has resisted the urge to retaliate.  Her clothes are muddied and dirtied and she is sick of being pushed around. She speaks to Isabelle.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S
Cast: FEMALE (MALE)
Setting: OUTSIDE, NEAR A MUD PUDDLE
Age range: 5-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

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SOPHIE

If you push me in that mud puddle one more time, I’m gonna…I’m gonna…my mommy said calling people a Poopy-Head is not a nice thing to do, but you are not doing a nice thing to me, so I just might have to call you that.  And yeah, so I have mud on me now, but it’s not poop, and having poop on your head is a lot grosser!  You think that’s funny?  Okay!  You can laugh.  Maybe you’d like some mud on you then?  What—are you gonna run away now?  Go tell your mom that I was gonna throw mud on you?—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR COMPLETE THE MUD PUDDLE MONOLOGUE. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

THE REAL VALUE OF CANDY

Fred speaks to his dentist about the office policy of exchanging 1 pound of Halloween candy for $1.00. Fred is not pleased with this deal he entered into under false pretenses, and expresses the hard work he went through to get that candy. He decides he will not trade it in after all. He will do something else with the candy. He will eat it.

DETAILS
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Cast: Male or Female
Age: 4-12
Genre: Comedic/Children’s monologue
Setting: A Dentist’s office

FRED

A dollar a pound. Really? Do you know how long it took me to get that candy? Do you know how many houses I had to walk to? In my costume? Without my coat on, because I wanted to look like a real superhero, not a superhero wearing a coat—

(THE MIDDLE SECTION OF THIS MONOLOGUE HAS BEEN OMITTED FOR PREVIEW PURPOSES. CLICK “ADD TO CART” BELOW FOR COMPLETE MONOLOGUE)

And that is why I will not be exchanging it. Because I know the real value of candy. (pause) I will be taking my candy home. And eating it. (pause) I will see you at my next teeth cleaning.

END OF PREVIEW EXCERPT
Click below for the complete children’s 1-minute monologue, "The Real Value of Candy"

THE STANDOFF

It’s a warm summer day, and Kevin is standing on a sidewalk outside the house of his peer, Cayden. Cayden holds a small egg-sized water gun and Kevin holds a large automatic water gun.  The boys know each other fairly well and have played with each other in school and at each other’s houses, but they are not necessarily good friends.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDY
Cast: MALE (FEMALE)
Setting: SIDEWALK BY HOUSE
Age range: 5-10 years old

__________________________

KEVIN

You go ahead and shoot.  I know you wanna.  It’s all you been thinking about since you came out.   Holding it like that, pointing it right at me.  You were sitting in your room when you saw me walking by, so you grabbed your gun and ran outside, thinking you were as fast as Flash Lightening, thinking you’d catch me before I got too far ‘cause I know you’re not allowed past that tree with the funny white bark.  Well.  You caught me.  Here I am.  But you’re not as fast as Flash, Cayden.  ‘Cause I saw you in the window, and I just waited.  I could’ve run past that tree. I could run past that tree right now ‘cause I got a babysitter and she lets me go wherever I want.  I know you’d chase me if I did it too, and you’d wanna go past that tree, but you’d have to decide—is it worth it?  Is it worth it, Cayden?  Is it worth losing tv time on a Friday?  Or ipad time?  Or isn’t today the day your mom lets you make your own ice cream sundae?   You wanna lose that?—END OF EXCERPT
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THE STATISTICS AREN’T REAL
From the ten-minute play Jumping the Wind

Pollen K-10 cites various statistics which prove that since he has started his flower jumping course, the rate of pollen falling to their demise during jumps has dramatically decreased. In fact, the rate of success now is astoundingly high and should be encouraging to Pollen V-6, who is terrified to jump from the dying flower to a fresh flower. Pollen K-10 has never revealed where he has received these statistics, and Pollen V-6 begs him to tell her where he has gotten them from. She will make the jump during the next wind, but needs to know this information. She needs to know the truth.

About the 10-minute play, Jumping the Wind:
Pollen K-10 and Pollen V-6 are the last two remaining pieces of pollen on a dying flower, and they now must make the treacherous jump from the dying flower to a fresh one. Pollen K-10 has taught flower-jumping courses to the pollen in order to make their jumps successful, yet Pollen V-6 is terrified to jump the next wind, afraid of falling and being lost forever. As the leader of the pollen, Pollen K-10 risks his own safety, remaining to help her make this jump. The winds are fading, the flower will be destroyed by Cat that night, and Pollen V-6 doesn’t look any closer to jumping.

DETAILS
Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC/TEEN
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A DYING FLOWER
Running Time: Approximately 1.5 minutes

_____________________

POLLEN K-10

The statistics aren’t real. I made them up. (brief pause) Please don’t lose faith in me, Pollen V-6! I tried to get the statistics! I really tried! I asked the flies, but they’re too fickle. They forget what I’ve asked them to do almost immediately after they leave, and they don’t remember me when they return. The friendlier bees tried to help, but then, even the most honorable ones told me upfront there was a conflict of interest. The birds don’t care. The Talls don’t understand us. There was nowhere for me to get the statistics. The statistics aren’t real…but… (pause) The statistics are true. Pollens survive the ride so much more than they used to, because they believe they can. They believe they’re prepared, and…END OF EXCERPT
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THE THING ABOUT MERMAIDS

Riley recognizes that many mystical creatures are not real, but knows that mermaids are. In fact, Riley just saw one yesterday and describes the sighting to a friend in a park. But of all the mystical creatures Riley realizes, it’s kind of a waste that mermaids are real.

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children
Cast: Female/male
Age range: 5-10
Running time: Approximately 45 seconds - 1 minute
Setting: Park 

____________________

 RILEY

I know leprechauns aren’t real. I learned that when I was four and saw my mom hiding gold coins around the house in the middle of the night. And I know unicorns aren’t real either, because they’ve been extinct since the dinosaurs. But mermaids? (pause) I saw one in the lake yesterday. It was on a rock. It looked at me and didn’t even wave! And then it—END OF EXCERPT

CLICK HERE for the free digital copy of The Thing About Mermaids by Tara Meddaugh. This monologue is free to download, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below:

WHAT MY FANGS ARE FOR
from the 10-minute play, When Marshmallows Burn

While roasting marshmallows with his mom over a campfire, Sammy has grown fur and fangs, in the light of the full moon. He has just run off to the woods to catch a squirrel for a snack. When he returns, blood around his mouth, his mother backs away from him, and asks what he has done. In this monologue, Sammy proudly explains to his mother how he has hunted his first squirrel. When his mom does not respond or seem proud of him, Sammy worries she is mad at him and will not talk to him again. He wonders if she only loved him when he was a human child.

DETAILS:
Genre: Drama/Dark Comedy/Thriller/Teen/Children
Cast: Male/Female/Gender neutral/flexible casting
Age range: 10 years old, but the role may be played by a child, teenager, or young adult
Setting: Outside, around campfire in backyard
Time period: Contemporary
Running time: Around 1 minute
From the play: When Marshmallows Burn

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SAMMY

I ran in the woods, then crouched down and was really quiet. After just a couple of seconds, I saw a squirrel—because, Mom, now I can see in the dark better than normal! So then, I jumped up, super fast, and ran to the squirrel, super super fast! And I put my mouth on the squirrel’s body and chomped down and just started chewing! The fur and bones didn’t even bother me! I guess that’s what my fangs are for. I think I ate most of in, like, 5 bites. That’s good, right? I always thought I was slower than most kids, but now, I might be faster than anyone! (pause) Mom? (pause) You’re proud of me, right (pause) Do you want me to get you a squirrel now? END OF EXCERPT

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YOUR CRUCIAN CARPS ARE BLOCKING THE DOORWAY, MOM
A children’s comedic monologue
(About Animal Crossing)
By Tara Meddaugh

Luke is in his bedroom when his mother comes in to tell him to clean it. Today, he has played the video game, Animal Crossing New Horizons, on the Nintendo Switch. He has seen inside his mother’s house in the video game and is surprised she would tell him to clean his messy bedroom when her Animal Crossing house is extremely messy itself. He confronts her about this and proposes they strike a deal…

DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children/Tween
Cast: Male/Female
Age range: 5-12
Running time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
Setting: A child’s bedroom
Time period: Contemporary 

__________________________________

LUKE

You’re asking me to clean up my bedroom? Like, that one sock on the floor? Or this Dumbledore wand, by my foot? (pause) Mom… (shakes head) I walked in your house today. (pause) It’s such a mess in there! It looks like you took everything in your pockets and just dumped it on your floor! You’ve got, you’ve got a cat tower and summer shells and a carrot cake and a wedding bench and an automatic toilet—which is actually really cool and I kind of want that…. And your walls are all covered in your shirts and pants and a mantis head! I mean—what kind of room is that? Is it your bathroom or your kitchen or a store or something? And…oh my gosh, Mom… You have, I don’t know, 20 fish tanks all lined up around your room! And they’re not even cool rare fish! They’re like a bunch of horse mackerels and crucian carps! (pause) So, yeah, I’m a little surprised that… END OF EXCERPT.
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