New Rom-Com Monologue: Head to Toe

March 28, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 2-minute monologue, 3-minute monologue, comedic, dramatic, love, monologue for female acto, Monologues, romance, Teen, virtual theater, Zoom plays

Sydney is on a first date. A blind date. And a zoom date during the covid-19 lockdown. Needless to say, she’s nervous—but she’s also excited to possibly form a new human connection. And during this date…her cat pees on the floor. Is her cat seeking attention, since he’s been the only one to get her affection for 8 weeks? And will her date wait for her while she cleans up the mess?

I wrote this monologue a couple of years ago, but for some reason, held onto it in the “laptop cave files” until today. Do any single folk remember what it was like to be isolated in a living quarters with literally no one else, except maybe a pet? Thank God for pets, right? Humans need affection, they need interaction, they need comfort and cuddles and touch. And while I ask “does anyone remember”—honestly, three years (or less) really isn’t that long ago…

This idea is forefront in my monologue, Head to Toe, although it’s sandwiched by a jealous cat who might be peeing to ruin Sydney’s blind date! Sydney is a fun role for an actor to play, or director to direct, as she has a lot of action (especially for someone on Zoom), coupled with humor, first-date nerves and excitement, as well as the poignancy of striving for connection amidst isolation.

Teen/Tween Monologue about Confronting a Bully from "What Happened at the Mud Puddle"

February 06, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 2-minute monologue, 3-minute monologue, dramatic, monologue for female acto, monologue for child actor, Monologues, one-act plays, pre-teen, Teen, tween

Have you heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people?” It’s been used enough to sound a little cliche, but there’s truth to it. In my one-act play, What Happened at the Mud Puddle, our main tween antagonist is Taylor. She makes fun of others, steals boyfriends, hogs the spotlight, and acts out of spite in true “mean girl” fashion. She has a lot of learning and growing to do, well beyond this play. But even though she’s left a lot of people hurt in her wake, she has her own hurt and insecurity too.

This monologue takes place toward the end of the play, after Taylor has alienated all the guests at her extravagant yacht soiree and they’ve left to come to Chloe’s simple backyard birthday party. Taylor arrives at Chloe’s house—very angry and humiliated. Someone gets pushed in a mud puddle…And Taylor walks away, defeated. Chloe’s monologue recounts her final private confrontation with Taylor, where she realizes why this whole feud even started...and how Chloe is perhaps not entirely innocent either…

New Comedic Monologue for Unicorn-Lovers: CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey

January 31, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 30-second monologue, animal theater, children, comedic, Monologues, monologue for female acto, Monologue Performances, mystical creatures, outdoor theater, pre-teen, Teen, tween, unicorns

Did someone say UNICORN??

magical forest with a unicorn horn and ears in bottom left. In blue and pink font, Title Cloudlily The Unicorn And Zoey. Subtitle in brown, A monologue by Tara Meddaugh

Okay, so there just are not enough monologues out there for unicorns! Right?? But here’s your chance to finally play one (I know you have always wanted to). Check out my comedic monologue, CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey, which runs about 30 seconds to 1 minute long. In it, CloudLily, a unicorn, is talking to her loyal fan, 4-year-old, Zoey. Zoey has been visiting CloudLily in the magical forest and giving her super awesome gifts. You know the kind of gifts some 4-year-olds give you, right? Like…weeds…and clumps of dirt? So CloudLily is grateful. I mean, how could she not be? Zoey is an adorable child who is the definition of “pure of heart.” But…CloudLily also knows humans have access to some pretty cool things besides just, well, dirt. Check out what CloudLily asks Zoey for in the short funny monologue for any age actor (child, tween, teen, or adult!).

Also, gotta give some props to the inspiration for this monologue. One of my followers on Facebook messaged me he got a “Top Fan Badge” for my page. I gave him some virtual props and said, “you win!” He wisely asked me what he won. And I said, “hmmm…you or your kids can give me a topic and I’ll see if I can write a little monologue about it.” He told me his daughter loves rainbow unicorns. Well. Here’s your monologue, Zoey! Hope you enjoy!

Enjoy a little excerpt (and silly floating animated unicorn head video, as well!)!

CLOUDLILY

(to 4-year-old Zoey)

Zoey. I love the dandelions and clovers and…clumps of dirt you keep bringing me every day. They’re all really cool and special and I know it’s super fun watching my magical unicorn horn turn them into rainbow colors and make them dance and stuff like that. But I hear—CLICK HERE FOR MORE

My silly floating-head-unicorn amateur animation of “CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey.”

Monologue from "When Marshmallows Burn" Published in The Best Men's Stage Monologues Anthology

January 25, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, absurdist theater, blind casting, comedic, dark comedy, dramatic, gender neutral casting, inclusive casting, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, monologues for male actor, Monologues, mystical creatures, one-act plays, outdoor theater, Plays, Publications, Teen, Suspense, ten-minute plays, theater of the absurd, thriller, tween

I’m honored that my monologue from When Marshmallows Burn has been published in Smith & Kraus’s anthology, The Best Men’s Stage Monologues 2022, edited by Debbie Lamedman. Did you know Smith & Kraus has been publishing anthologies of the best men’s and women’s stage monologues for over 30 years? Very cool! In my dark comedy/drama:

Sammy and his mom are enjoying roasting marshmallows over the fire under the full moon when something very strange starts to happen. Sammy’s arms look a little furry. His teeth look a lot like fangs. And he has a sudden urge to kill squirrels—and eat them raw. What (or who) else will he have an urge to kill? Is there anything his mother can do to stop him, or can she ultimately accept and love her wereson? Read the whole play here.

Missy Flower and Buchanan Highhouse in When Marshmallows Burn, directed by Nate Flower. Photography by @designbyraegan.

This is a play about a werewolf, yes. But moreover, it’s a play about a mom and her son. I recently read Celeste Ng’s new novel Our Missing Hearts and in it, a central mother character says, “But in the end every story I want to tell you is the same. Once upon a time, there was a boy. Once upon a time there was a mother. Once upon a time, there was a boy, and his mother loved him very much.”

This hits me hard.

And when I was telling my 2 sons basically the whole story of Our Missing Hearts, you can bet I was choking up relaying this part of the book (and then hugging them!).

When Marshmallows Burn is not only a dark comedy about a boy becoming a werewolf. It’s a story about familial acceptance and the love of a mom and a son, in the face of changing identity.

The monologue selected for the anthology (What My Fangs are For) takes place the moment Sammy has returned from his first kill in the woods. He is proud he found his late-night snack without troubling his mom for help. As he relays killing the squirrel to her, he realizes his mother is becoming increasingly scared of him and his pride turns to fear that she will no longer love him as a werewolf.

Sammy’s monologue runs about 1 minute long and is great for any gender actor. It gives the performer a significant journey from being proud of something new and exciting to being deeply worried and terrified to lose what matters most. It also lets an actor showcase both dark comedy as well as dramatic skills.

I was so lucky to have an outstanding team bring this play to life for the first time: Missy Flower as the mom, Buchanan Highhouse as the son, and Nate Flower as the director (produced by Free Space Theater, in collaboration with the Harrison Public Library). We performed the play around Halloween, at night in the great outdoors, and this was an absolute amazing backdrop for the play, which takes place at night, in the great outdoors…

Along with Sammy’s monologue, this anthology includes dozens of other wonderful monologues. As Ms. Lademan writes in her foreword, “These pieces present great acting challenges, and actors will have the pleasure of sinking their teeth into this sublime material while continuing to perfect their craft in their online or in-person workshops.”

Click here to get The Best Men’s Stage Monologues on amazon. You can also get Sammy’s monologue, What My Fangs are For, by itself here. Additionally, you can read an excerpt here of When Marshmallows Burn, or click below for the complete digital copy of that play:

When Marshmallows Burn, a 10-minute dark comedy by Tara Meddaugh

$5.99

Add To Cart

Teen/Tween Monologue about Bullying and Fitting In from “What Happened at the Mud Puddle”

January 23, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 2-minute monologue, dramatic, monologue for female acto, Monologues, pre-teen, Teen, tween, one-act plays

In my one-act play, What Happened at the Mud Puddle, Taylor, resident mean/popular girl, is creating a whole lot of uncomfortable drama for her entire grade. By the end of the play, we’ll realize, not everyone is quite as straight-forward as they seem (including Taylor), and the line of who is “mean” and who is “nice” sometimes get a little blurred in middle-school… What Happened at the Mud Puddle is a comedy that runs around 25 minutes, with a nice ensemble cast of 12 roles (8 female, 4 male). It has a lot of great monologues, so while it’s good in-person theater, it also transitions easily to zoom or virtual productions.

In this monologue, we learn about Amanda. Amanda is new to this middle school and it doesn’t take long for Taylor to humiliate her in front of the whole cafeteria. So why does Amanda still want to go to Taylor’s party?

Amanda’s monologue runs about 2 minutes. You can read an excerpt of Amanda’s monologue below and you can read the whole play, published by YouthPLAYS here.

The Reason I'm Single: Included in "10 Female Monologues from Love Sick Characters" Theatre Nerds

January 20, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, dramatic, love, monologue for female acto, Monologues, romance, valentine's day

We’re less than a month away from Valentine’s Day and I know y’all have seen all that pink-heart stuff in CVS the moment the Christmas stuff went on sale! On this “love note”, I’m happy my piece, The Reason I’m Single, was included in this collection from Theatre Nerds of 10 Female Monologues From Love Sick Characters (Ashleigh Gardner). About the collection, Gardner writes:

Competition and audition season is quickly approaching! Have you found your monologue yet? If not, we have you covered. Below are 10 monologues (5 dramatic and 5 comedic) from love-sick female characters who have a bone to pick with love.

In my comedic/dramatic monologue, The Reason I’m Single, Rebecca finally admits to her friend, Kelly, why she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And it’s not why Kelly thinks… As of this post, PerformerStuff is the only place you can get the monologue too (you can read an excerpt and more info there).

Hope you’re not lovesick for real, but it’s good theater playing someone who is!

New 30-Second Monologue About Trust from Pitfalls and Treasures

January 19, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 30-second monologue, allegory, animal theater, comedic, dark comedy, dramatic, Grief, monologue for female acto, Monologues, outdoor theater, Teen, ten-minute plays

My play, Pitfalls and Treasures, is a dark comedy/drama about two loner seagulls finding each other, and forming a kind of reliance, trust, friendship. Each has been ostracized from their former flock, but their response to the pain of being pushed out is very different. Andrew remains open, friendly, trusting, hoping for the best. Mary is more jaded and skeptical (“one bitten, twice shy” kinda situation). But now Andrew has twine wrapped around his foot and no one has stopped to help him except Mary. As the two search a littered parking lot for objects that might be used to cut off the twine from his leg, Mary points out dangerous litter (like chewing gum) which might appear treasures to Andrew if he is not careful. Andrew’s gratitude for Mary’s help is immense and he marvels at how he has even survived without her. In this monologue, Mary warns him not to be too trusting of her—or anyone for that matter, as she gets lost in thoughts from her own experience.

This is a 30-second contemporary monologue for a female actor, from late teens to any age adult. You can enjoy a short excerpt below, get the free monologue here, or the entire play here.

1-Minute Monologues

January 12, 2023 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, absurdist theater, animal theater, allegory, blind casting, child monolog collection, children, Children's theatre, comedic, comedy monolog collection, dark comedy, dramatic, dramatic monolog collecti, fairy tale, gender neutral casting, inclusive casting, monologue by child, monologue collections, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, monologue written by chil, Monologues, monologues for male actor, mystical creatures, pre-teen, Teen, teen monologue collection, tween

One-minute monologues are an important way to make a quick impression to agents, casting directors, schools/colleges/universities. While longer monologues definitely have their place, sometimes actors are required to stick with showing their chops in less than 60 seconds. One-minute monologues also fairly easy to memorize because, well, obviously, they’re short, and they work well for younger actors who may not be ready for a 2-minute monologue or longer. One-minute monologues are also great to perform in festivals, competitions or classes, and an accessible way for actors to hone their craft privately or with a coach.

Having only 1 minute to showcase yourself as an actor can be a bit daunting though, so I’ve started a new page of my 1-minute monologues to make things a little bit easier for actors. These monologues have story and character arc, even if short, and they help actors showcase versatility and evoke emotion from their audience. There are dramatic 1-minute monologues, comedic 1-minute monologues, 1-minute monologues for women, men, any gender, teens and children. From candy-inspired monologues for kids to mean girl monologues for teens to hopeful love or scorned love—these 35 monologues allow actors to dig into complexities and give a memorable performance, in one minute.

A Post-Christmas Tooth Fairy Monologue

December 28, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 3-minute monologue, comedic, fairy tale, Monologues, monologue for female acto, mystical creatures, Teen

My child recently endured a pretty long wait time (like, we’re talking dial-up modem long wait time!) for the Tooth Fairy to come and retrieve his tooth. It sat in a ziplock bag under his pillow for a night or two, then he moved it to the cat tree next to his bed, where it remained (our cat didn’t seem to mind) for the next…um… was it 4 weeks or so? During that time, he lost a second tooth (which he accidentally sent down the kitchen sink drain), and his first tooth oddly split in two while inside the baggie (I have never heard of that! Have you??). When the kids in my theater class were talking about losing a tooth one day, I commented on how the tooth fairy had still not come to retrieve my son’s tooth after several weeks.
(CLICK here for monologue. Click “read more” below for continued post)

30-Second Monologues

December 27, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 30-second monologue, children, child monolog collection, comedic, comedy monolog collection, dramatic, dramatic monolog collecti, gender neutral casting, inclusive casting, monologue collections, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, pre-teen, Teen, teen monologue collection, tween

While not as common, these bite-sized monologues can come in handy! So I’ve started a new page solely devoted to these 30-second monologues. Finding an impactful monologue that is less than 1 minute can be challenging. You want to convey engaging emotion, a bit or story and arc, and hopefully have a powerful opening and closing line. This is not easy in such a short time! But I’m up for the challenge and I know you, as actors/directors, are up for that too! So enjoy my growing list of memorable little monologues that can leave your mark in only 30 seconds.

Dramatic and Comedic pieces for Halloween Monologue Competitions

October 18, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 10-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, 5-minute monologue, child monolog collection, comedic, comedy monolog collection, dark comedy, dramatic monolog collecti, dramatic, Halloween, monologue collections, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, mystical creatures, Suspense, Teen, teen monologue collection, thriller, tween

If you’re looking for a great monologue to use in a Halloween Monologue Competition, check out the monologues below, beginning with creepy Halloween monologues, followed by comedic Halloween monologues. Monologues range from 1 minute to 10 minutes, children, teen and adult.

Summer Monologues

August 01, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, 3-minute monologue, 30-second monologue, 5-minute monologue, absurdist theater, allegory, blind casting, child monolog collection, children, Children's theatre, comedic, comedy monolog collection, dark comedy, dramatic, dramatic monolog collecti, gender neutral casting, inclusive casting, mermaids, monologue collections, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, mystical creatures, Teen, teen monologue collection, thriller, tween, summer

If you’re looking to beat (or lean into!) the heat of the season with a summer-themed monologue, check out this list of 17 monologues that go along nicely with Summertime. Whether it’s someone’s connection to growing veggies, a safari vacation that goes amiss (in all the coolest ways), seeing a lame mermaid at the beach, pushing someone in a mud puddle, spooky things that happen in the woods at night, or ice cream your dog can’t have—enjoy these 17 comedic, dramatic, thriller, teen and children’s monologues that are great for Summer!

Monologue from When Marshmallows Burn to be published in Smith & Kraus's "The Best Men's Stage Monologues”

February 15, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, animal theater, allegory, dark comedy, dramatic, monologue for female acto, monologues for male actor, Monologues, mystical creatures, outdoor theater, pre-teen, Suspense, Teen, ten-minute plays, thriller, thriller play, tween, 10-minute play

I’m honored that a monologue from my dark-comedy play, WHEN MARSHMALLOWS BURN, has been selected to be published by Smith & Kraus in the anthology, “The Best Men's Stage Monologues 2022” (editor Debbie Lamedman).

In the play, When Marshmallows Burn, Sammy and his mom are enjoying roasting marshmallows by the fire, under the full moon, when something very strange starts to happen. Sammy’s arms look a little furry. His teeth look a lot like fangs. And he has a sudden urge to kill squirrels—and eat them raw. What (or who) else will he have an urge to kill? Is there anything his mother can do to stop him, or can she ultimately accept and love him? This is a dark comedy about a boy becoming a werewolf, but it’s also a story about acceptance and love, in the face of changing identities.

A Whole Lot of Monologues About Love

February 02, 2022 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, 3-minute monologue, 5-minute monologue, comedic, comedy monolog collection, dark comedy, dramatic, dramatic monolog collecti, holiday, love, monologue collections, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, romance, Suspense, Teen, teen monologue collection, valentine's day

Well, we are less than 2 weeks from Valentine’s Day! If you’re looking for a monologue about love for a performance, monologue slam, audition or anything else, check out these pieces. From dark to hopeful, you can find passionate monologues for women and men (and many for any gender), highlighting love in its various dramatic forms.

New 2-Minute Woman's Christmas Monologue - More Than Santa

December 13, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 2-minute monologue, Christmas, comedic, dramatic, holiday, love, monologue for female acto, Monologues, romance, Teen, women

So…you’ve fallen in love with the Mall Santa. I mean, what’s not to love, right? (Well…) But what if you’ve never seen him sans-white beard and velvet coat? Can you be sure you’ve fallen for the real man behind the suit? Will you still be happy to share hot cocoa with him when he doesn’t smell like candy canes?

This is the situation Brandy, and her new Mall-Santa-Boyfriend, Kris, find themselves in. Kris is scared Brandy won’t love him when he doesn’t hold Holiday Celebrity Status anymore. He’s been dumped by women post-Christmas before. In the monologue, More Than Santa, Brandy has to convince Kris that she is not only attracted to his white beard (because, come on—that beard!), but she will keep on being attracted to him when she sees him for the first time tomorrow, December 26, not dressed as Santa.

New Christmas Monologue for Women: Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed

December 02, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, Christmas, comedic, dramatic, holiday, love, monologue for female acto, Monologues, romance, women

If you’re a woman looking for a short comedic Christmas monologue, check out Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed. In the monologue, it’s Christmas Night. Daphne and her partner, Jamie, have enjoyed a large Christmas dinner with family. Daphne has lovingly spent many hours preparing the meal she knows Jamie will enjoy, on the Christmas China she knows Jamie loves. But now it’s time for Daphne to feel a little love… and it just might take the shape of someone else (ahem: Jamie) hand-washing all those Christmas plates…

This is a comedic monologue which runs around 1.5 minutes, and is appropriate for a female actor in her 20s-50s. Check out below to read and excerpt and to download the free monologue of Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed.

New Comedic Christmas Monologue: A Case for Astronaut Caroling

November 22, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 2-minute monologue, blind casting, children, Children's theatre, Christmas, comedic, gender neutral casting, holiday, inclusive casting, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, pre-teen, Teen, tween

Have you ever wanted to spice up a traditional Christmas Caroling outing? Santa hats are fine and all, but how much cooler would you look if you wore…say…an astronaut costume? That is Sam’s small request in this 2-minute comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. But before he can sing into that awesome voice-changing space helmet, he has to convince his mom of his plan… Does he make a compelling enough case to win her over?

Check out my free comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. This monologue comes from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Beleving in Blitzen (check out that play here. It has a lot of other comedic monologues). The character role is a child, so this monologue is great for children actors, or tween through young adults who would like to play children (good audition material for children’s plays). This role is gender inclusive/flexible.

Great Virtual or Social Distancing Christmas Play: Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen

November 22, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, children, Children's theatre, Christmas, comedic, gender neutral casting, inclusive casting, holiday, monologue for child actor, monologue for female acto, Monologues, monologues for male actor, one-act plays, Plays, pre-teen, socially distant theater, Teen, Zoom plays, virtual theater

While some theaters and schools are open for in-person performances, there are many throughout the world which are not able to be open in this capacity yet. (We are all in different situations throughout the globe and my heart is with you all!) If your school or theater is looking for a family-friendly Christmas show which lends itself to social distancing or virtual theater, check out the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Since this is a monologue-heavy play, it allows for increased social distancing in rehearsals and performances and also slides more easily into virtual theater.

Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen is a comedy great for children, teens or young adults playing the roles of children. It runs approximately 30 minutes with a minimal set, and with doubling, has 5 roles (2 female, 3 male). Without doubling, it has a cast of (3 male, 2 female, 3 gender inclusive/flexible casting—but in reality, most of the roles can be gender flexible).

To four children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride. Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay. Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant. Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy.

New Comedic 5-minute Christmas play for 1-3 actors: Why That Walking Snowman Didn't Like Me

November 15, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 5-minute play, animal theater, Christmas, comedic, monologue for female acto, Monologues, mystical creatures, pre-teen, Teen, tween, 5-minute monologue

Who doesn’t love some good ole fashioned Christmas magic in their theater and film, right? Check out what happens in my new 5-minute monologue for a female actor (with the option of adding 2 additional gender-inclusive silent roles), Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me.

When Madison goes for a walk with her dog on Christmas Eve, she could never have imagined a snowman she passes by would come to life in front of her very eyes! I mean, talk about Christmas Magic, right? This is super cool. Her IG fans are going to die when they see this… But… Why does it seem the snowman doesn’t want to pose with her? Coming to life is strange. Sure. But not wanting to hang out with Madison is even stranger. Find out how this IG model and her adorbs rescue, Bailey, make sense of all of this, in Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me.

This is a really fun piece to perform! Lots of humor and action; it’s light and funny but also can generate thoughtful conversation about social media. Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me is a comedic monologue for a female teen through young adult actor. So if you’re looking for a solo performance piece for this holiday season, this makes a great fit. It runs around 4-5 minutes (always depending on performance).

This short play stands alone as a monologue, but if you’re looking to cast more roles, it also easily affords the option of 1-2 additional roles:

Bailey: A non-speaking, but puppy murmuring, wise reindeer-sweater-wearing dog. Any gender/inclusive casting
Snowman: The chill, nonspeaking, disinterested-in-social-media snowman itself. Any gender/inclusive casting.

New Comedic Christmas Monologue: "Santa Just Wants You to be Healthy"

November 02, 2021 by Tara Meddaugh in 1-minute monologue, 2-minute monologue, Christmas, comedic, family, holiday, monologue for female acto, Monologues

Today on an afternoon walk, I spied a silver bell and garland on a friend’s railing, while another friend mentioned she saw a Hallmark Christmas rom-com last night. I’ve been receiving royalty requests for a Christmas play for a few months now, so I think we are all justified to be looking to holiday theater on November 2, right? In the spirit of the holiday season to come, enjoy a new comedic monologue, Santa Just Wants You to be Healthy:

It’s Christmas morning and Vita’s child, Cameron, has just come to her bedroom at 5am to complain that Santa gave him a boring orange in his stocking. Vita tries to make Cameron understand that Santa simply cares about him and is looking out for his good health and happiness. Knowing the orange is a bit less than exciting though, Vita encourages Cameron to dig down deep to find another treat—most likely something spectacular. But what her child finds is (d’oh!) not exactly what Vita had in mind!

This is a monologue for a female actor (could also be male), 20s-40s and runs about 1.5 minutes long. Check out an excerpt below: