YOUR CRUCIAN CARPS ARE BLOCKING THE DOORWAY, MOM
A children’s comedic monologue
(About Animal Crossing)
By Tara Meddaugh
(c) 2020
Read about the inspiration for this monologue here!
Luke is in his bedroom when his mother comes in to tell him to clean it. Today, he has played the video game, Animal Crossing New Horizons, on the Nintendo Switch. He has seen inside his mother’s house in the video game and is surprised she would tell him to clean his messy bedroom when her Animal Crossing house is extremely messy itself. He confronts her about this and proposes they strike a deal…
DETAILS
Genre: Comedy/Children/Tween
Cast: Male/Female
Age range: 5-12
Running time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
Setting: A child’s bedroom
Time period: Contemporary
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EXCERPT
LUKE
You’re asking me to clean up my bedroom? Like, that one sock on the floor? Or this Dumbledore wand, by my foot?
(pause)
Mom…
(shakes head)
I walked in your house today.
(pause)
It’s such a mess in there! It looks like you took everything in your pockets and just dumped it on your floor! You’ve got, you’ve got a cat tower and summer shells and a carrot cake and a wedding bench and an automatic toilet—which is actually really cool and I kind of want that…. And your walls are all covered in your shirts and pants and a mantis head! I mean—what kind of room is that? Is it your bathroom or your kitchen or a store or something? And…oh my gosh, Mom… You have, I don’t know, 20 fish tanks all lined up around your room! And they’re not even cool rare fish! They’re like a bunch of horse mackerels and crucian carps!
(pause)
So, yeah, I’m a little surprised that… END OF EXCERPT. Click below for the complete monologue of "YOUR CRUCIAN CARPS ARE BLOCKING THE DOORWAY, MOM”